Pregnant Women are People Too.

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For whatever reason, people do really seem to think that being pregnant makes you public domain.   Public domain for talking to (thanks, Super-Market checkout man, but I don’t need your advice on breastfeeding), public domain for touching (I can’t tell you how many near-strangers have [hopefully] unknowingly fondled my vagina while trying to find my baby in there), public domain for prying and personal questioning (was it an accident?), and worst of all, public domain for making mind-bogglingly harsh comments that you would never dare say to someone who wasn’t pregnant (I’m getting to that part.)

Let’s be honest:  Gaining weight for any reason sucks.   (Yes, I’m back on that topic again.)   I know there’s a baby in here, and I already love her more than anything in this world, but that doesn’t really take the edge off the fact that my face looks like an overinflated basketball.

Keep that in mind while you read the following top five crazy-ass things that people have said to me this week:

1.  Hey Fatty.   (As far as I can tell, this is a pretty standard “I think I’m being cute, but I’m lucky you’re not murdering my face” pregnancy comment.  Still stings.)

2. Wow, so your Dad took it off, and gave it to you, huh?   (My Dad recently lost 35 lbs.   Go Dad.   Four separate people said this to me on Tuesday.)

3. You’re like a huge blob!   (I mean…)

4. How much weight HAVE you gained?  (Would you ever ask someone non-pregnant this question, Bob?)

(and my personal favorite…drumroll please…)

5. Pardon my saying it, but you look like an elephant.   (Under no circumstances will I pardon your saying that.)

Early in my pregnancy, I would hear further-along women wishing death and dismemberment on people who said such things to them, but I’d laugh it off.    I thought to myself “they aren’t really calling you fat” or “they’re just trying to be funny, I’m sure it’s affectionate.”    And while I’m giving folks the benefit of the doubt that those things are true, I must ask on behalf of all pregnant women everywhere that you non-pregnants consider your words a little more carefully when dealing with someone who has been uncomfortable for the better part of nine months and is full of raging and irrational hormones.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant.   It’s august.   It’s hot.   I’m tired (like, more tired than I’ve ever been.)    My patience is not what it used to be.   Nor is the thickness of my skin.   While some of these comments made me laugh in disbelief, others brought me to tears.   (I’m not proud of it.   I usually have a better sense of humor than that…but c’mon, cut me some slack here.)

On that note – here’s my update:

How far along? 33 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Yeah…like I’m giving you people any more ammo.
Stretch marks? My puberty stretchies are turning red and threatening to blow.  (Oh, joy.)
Sleep: all. the. time.
Best moment this week: We got our stroller!   Sometimes I push it around our house and imagine she’s in it.   Shhh.
Movement: So much.
Food cravings: I don’t want to put another thing in my body that will end up on my ass.
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? That’s a close up of the situation above.  (You’re welcome, world wide web.)  My cavernous belly button is still holding on.
What I miss: Focus.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing up all my work so I can sleep and nest.
Weekly Wisdom: Deep breaths.
Milestones: I can now make out body parts.   She has Scott’s butt.

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  30 comments for “Pregnant Women are People Too.

  1. August 22, 2009 at 11:19 am

    it makes me want to cry for you. I think you look BEAUTIFUL.

    {…and really? vag fondling!??!?! omg!!}

  2. Iva
    August 22, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    people are so odd, sometimes I just think they blurt things out without having processed it in their head first. bleh. I’m so sorry. I’ve never understood why it seems ok to ask an about to pop mama how much she has put on. 1-5 …not ok, but #5?? dude not something to ever pardon, nope. Ahh you are almost there! so excited, seriously though, you look beautiful and you are doing amazing. Look at how much you have done already, and little baby girl has two fabulous parents who lovingly MADE her THE most beautiful crib ever!! I’m happy you got the stroller :) LOL “she has Scott’s butt”, you are always so hilarious. Happy weekend Morgan!! :) almost there, almost there!!

  3. August 22, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Dang! What kind of people say those things? I hate it when people think they have the right to touch a pregnant lady, then when she has the baby want to hold it! Babies and strangers just don’t mix imo. Have a great weekend, and hope you can get the rest you need before baby comes!

  4. August 22, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    What I love are when everyone calls me, “Hello preggo chick” & other things like that. I mean, apparently that’s all I am good for right now is incubating a baby….

  5. August 23, 2009 at 12:05 am

    Sometimes people suck- you look beautiful! No matter what you look beautiful.

    This is fun and might make you feel better.
    http://thewondrous.com/2009/07/25-crazy-belly-paintings/

  6. August 23, 2009 at 3:26 am

    Ok, I want you to go back and re-read my comment I made on my blog when I bestowed the Fabulous Blog award to your site. Here it is…and I quote:

    [quote]that girl has the best ever pregnancy belly I’ve ever seen. Especially considering I had a stomach the size of a Blue Whale when I was expecting. I’m so jealous[/quote]

    Uh huh, that is for reals what I said on my blog, in public, where lots of people can read it (please let me pretend I have a million followers k? my fantasty ner ner). You look beautiful. Pictures of your belly made me cry with envy and I thought you looked stunning with a bump. I also had people say some extrodinary things to me while pregnant, and because I have such a wicked sense of humor people thought for reasons only known to the Divine that I could take it. Let’s recap on some of those shall we?
    ”Are you sure you’re not expecting twins?! You look huge already!” At week 12 onwards. Sigh.

    ”Whoa! You look like you’re about to blow! You can’t possibly get any bigger! You’re gonna drop anyday now right?!” Me: No, I have 2 1/2 months left to go. Thanks dirtbag.

    ”That thing looks heavy. You should sit down, before you fall forward! haha” wtf is that?

    ”You’re friend is expecting first? Wow I thought you were like 5 months farther along than her!” I think I punched that person…not sure. The whole thing was a blurr after I said that. My friend is a skinny little muffin, still love her though…biatch.

    I hope that made you smile, I look back and laugh now even though I totally cried then. Keep your chin up!!! xxx

  7. August 23, 2009 at 3:28 am

    Ummm edit on my last comment…not the whole thing was a blurr after I said that..but rather after THEY said that. Omg I totally would NEVER say anything remotely close to that to any pregnant lady! Ok I feel better correcting that. Thanks :D

  8. August 23, 2009 at 8:36 am

    You know that filter that people have, well I am convinced that when they see a prego the filter gets lost and the diarrhea of the mouth ensues…good luck.

  9. Lindsey
    August 24, 2009 at 5:53 am

    i think its okay for you to punch people in the face when they say these obnoxious things. Or you can have me do it.

  10. August 24, 2009 at 7:17 am

    One of the things that irritated me the most while pregnant was strangers touching my preggo belly. That was seriously creepy!

    Smooches,
    Sassy Chica

    stopping by from sits

  11. August 24, 2009 at 7:29 am

    Dear Lord are you serious?? You have every right to punch those rude fools in the neck.

  12. August 24, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Popped in from SITS! If anyone said any of that to me, I would

    1) burst into tears
    2) pitch a fit
    3) Punch/ Kick/ smack them with purse or nearest object
    4) Demand someone get me some pie pronto!

  13. August 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

    geeeezz. i cannot believe people. pop in that Christina Aguilera song for me, would ya? you know how it goes: “I am beautiful in every single wayyyyy! words can’t bring me dowwwwwwwwn.”

  14. August 24, 2009 at 10:58 am

    SERIOUSLY. I am honestly worried about what happens when I become pregnant because I WILL be punching rude people in the face. Don’t even get me started on people who touch my stomach that I’ve never met before.

  15. Allie
    August 25, 2009 at 6:19 am

    I love this topic. I think all Moms should post it so that every other idiot in the world will understand what NOT to say to a lady who is preggo.
    My favorite was when people compared my size carrying a single child to when I was carrying two. “Oh you’re bigger than you were with the twins!”

  16. August 25, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    umm, i could’ve written this! (except not nearly as well). I am so sick of people thinking my body is up for critique and comment just because i am growing a human. i still have feelings AND low self-esteem!

    just know, yer not alone.

    thanks for making me feel better (and making me lol)!

  17. August 26, 2009 at 3:19 am

    Congrats on the new baby. I have an 18 month old and it’s the most amazing thing that you will ever experience (other than people feeling you up while you’re pregnant).

  18. August 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    People say rediculous things. I haven’t a clue as to what makes some people think that any pregnant woman’s belly is automatically a licensed landing strip for their outstretched hand. I mean really! I don’t see women going around rubbing men’s beer bellies when they parade past. I’d say “dodge and weave,” but that’s awfully hard when you’re toting around 30 pounds of precious cargo under your ribs. Hang in there, the end’s in sight.

  19. August 26, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    just popping by to let you know that the puffy ankles DO go away! iy took a week but… they’re gone!

  20. August 29, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Stopped by from SITS. I was just browsing around your website when I read your best moment on this post. Getting the stroller. I had to read it aloud to my husband because when we got our stroller (and I had to be the one to put it together because I was so excited) I would put a stuffed animal in it and wheel it around the living room and kitchen pretending that my little one was in it. I’m glad I’m not the only one! (P.S. Im in the 818 too– nice to have a fellow Valley Blogger).

  21. August 29, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    People really do say such ridiculous things to pregnant women.

    I have a ridiculously deep belly button and it stayed an inny throughout pregnancy then it scared me after the baby was born. It’s starting to resemble it’s former shape.

    I used to be for the 818. I went to Van Nuys High School.

  22. August 30, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    OMG! I can’t believe people would ACTUALLY say those things out loud and EVEN THINK THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOU! You look beautiful (I saw a pic on Maeg’s blog). You are still small! You only look like you have gained weight where the baby bump is. I can’t believe you guys are almost due! CRAAAAAZY!

  23. September 3, 2009 at 6:57 am

    Man, I could’ve written this post myself when I was preggers. I prob’ly did write one similar. Stay strong, it’s almost over (but the comments are just going to get worse). But if you haul off and hit them? You can blame it on hormones.

  24. James Brown
    January 24, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Guys and Dolls,
    Now there is a comment that will cause Political correctness people palpitations. As I was saying, different cultures and societies have different methods of doing things and thus different behaviours. So Chinese people are not goner be like Yanks, or Africans like Europeans; different values to life.. enough of that.

    It remains that Men will never fully understand Women, and vice-versa; So a man will never fully understand what a Woman goes thro’ with all those hormonal changes, after all its also a different experience for different Women.
    Couple that with Western Society preaching about all that independent Woman, and you could end up with a culture that is alien to the needs of individuals in difficult circumstances.

    But another factor in the equation:
    You have the general public, then your acquaintances, then your inner circle friends; Clearly you dont confide in all of them the same way; So dont expect all of them to behave the same towards you, after all they do not all understand you and your needs the same way!!!!

    There is a whole lot of misplaced chemistry to talk about, on the whole I know many societies look favourably on pregnant Women. There is something rather fascinating about someone giving life; Incubating life…
    A mystery even to Women, until they are themselves pregnant, and possibly a never to be understood story for some Men.

    There you have it…

    I hope you have an easy birth. All the best for the future.

  25. August 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    HAHAHA my ridiculously deep belly button held up too. I was weirdly relieved that it never popped out :-)

  26. November 23, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    Dang! What kind of people say those things? I hate it when people think they have the right to touch a pregnant lady, then when she has the baby want to hold it! Babies and strangers just don’t mix imo. Have a great weekend, and hope you can get the rest you need before baby comes!

    I agree with It

  27. April 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Yeah I hate that too of course :l.

  28. DesireeEaglin1
    August 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    How about the name? Have you chosen a name? 

  29. Stacey Ball
    August 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Seriously, I was reading this thinking to myself “how the fuck did I miss the fact that Morgan is pregnant?!” I got nervous there for a minute!

  30. The818.com
    August 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Stacey Ball I can’t even like that comment for fear it could come true.

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