You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Potty.

So, uh…Potty training sucks, huh? I was sitting here recently panicking about why my child wasn’t miraculously out of diapers when I realized…maybe just purchasing a training potty wasn’t enough? Dammit. So I got to work.

Luckily, in the wake of Christmas, learning that pretty much everyone I spoke to bribed their children with chocolate to get them to use the potty gave me a stroke of…functional thought. So she’d ask for a marshmallow, and I’d tell her she could have one if she used the loo. …Only she’s two. So she doesn’t totally get the concept of “before” and “after” potty-ing. Or if she does, than she’s very manipulative, and I’m terrified for the teenage years. Either way – what started as bribery has now turned on to a constant chorus of “Mommy, I want a Marshmallow” while she sits on the toilet attempting to wiz. And it kind of steals the thunder of the reward for success when I’ve got her popping mini marshmallows just to keep her there.

On the upside, she is totally asking to use the potty, and successfully doing so. On the downside, she is seriously sugar-addled and it can’t be okay to let a toddler eat this much crap. So…I’ve come up with some ideas for healthier potty-treats until I can get a handle on my child. {I was calling them Potty Cookies but Scott made me stop because he says “she’s going to repeat that and it’s going to come out wrong.” Which, touche.}

Okay, so Idea #1, Mini Snickerdoodles. Pro: Easy to make, and delicious.

Con: Still a sugar cookie, even if I make ‘em with whole wheat flower to make myself feel better.

So then I thought about a modified (read: no Splenda) South Beach Peanut Butter cookie.  Con – has the same amount of sugar as the snickerdoodle, but way more protein, what with all the peanut butter + Pro: Gluten Free.  Also I just found this awesome Toilet shaped cookie cutter that I’d love an excuse to buy.

Yogurt Covered Raisins have been my healthiest hit, and later on I’m tackling homemade marshmallows, if for no other reason than they are supposed to be off the chain delicious and I have a growing collection of fun cookie cutters and a near-insatiable sweet tooth.

But uh…I feel like I’m off topic.  Point is – which is worse?  An incontinent teenager, or a toothless sugar junkie?

Yeah, I heard it.

Feed Me Seymour

6 Responses to You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Potty.

  1. Whitney says:

    Oh I’m laughing out loud! My hubby and I are always worrying/laughing about/completely giving in to our toddler’s sweet tooth as bribery. We are just gaining interest in the potty thing and I’m terrified when that goes full force. I’ll be anxiously awaiting your fabulous new sugar free toddler sugar freak recipe!

  2. Kristen says:

    I LOVE IT! She will get the hang of it. What if you switch it up to – sticker for sitting. Only cookie if you actually go? That is how we had to manipulate them. Oh – and my kids still “poop for chocolate.” We did M and M’s. … and now they only get 2 each time. So that is like 2 .. maybe 4 a day. Which isn’t that much. I eat 4 in a handful :) Keep at it! Kristen (alsfm)

  3. Melaina25 says:

    Blondie Boy has a poster in the bathroom and he gets a sticker every time he pees. He gets a cookie if he poops but that has happened all of twice lol.

  4. We do both m&m’s and stickers, though we give her special star stickers. But I totally bribe her to sit on the potty, not with m&m’s or stickers. But I have to say, Abby is behind Dee on the potty front. We have the whole working mom thing/daycare issue where at home we put her in underwear most of the time, but they won’t let her wear those at daycare. Confuses my girl. Don’t know what the whole point I’m trying to make is, but ZOMG! That cookie cutter, is amazeballs. AND I don’t think there is any problem with the whole Pavlov approach. Obviously ;)

  5. Aly says:

    Does she like stickers? Stickers were a great potty reward at our house.

  6. Arianna says:

    I started out bribing LJ with animal crackers for peeing and chocolate for pooping but he got so hung up on the idea of having them, that he’d just end up throwing these insane tantrums. I’ve been rewarding him with little prizes instead. The dollar bins at Target and Michael’s have become my best friend. And you know what? Keep explaining before and after. She’ll get it. We’re to a point now, where an accident free day earns him a prize or if we’re out and he tells me he has to go without being reminded, boom. Prize. He gets it. Dee is brilliant. It’ll be figured out in no time.

Talk to me. Please. I'm almost always alone or with a toddler.