Diana and Bella
Diana Stone is a Mother. A really good mother. And she’s pregnant with her second. Only this time it’s twins. She found that out back in February and has been trying to wrap her head around all the excitement (and chaos) two babies would bring ever since. Just last week she found out the twins in her belly were boys. Two beautiful baby boys — Preston and Julian — to terrorize her daughter Bella, and turn she and her husband Sam prematurely gray. At least, she hoped they would, like any Mother hopes that the million billion things that have to work perfectly for a healthy little human to develop would go as planned.
And then on Friday plans changed.
At eighteen weeks and four days into her pregnancy, Diana’s water broke. She rushed to University Medical Center in El Paso, TX, where she lives. Shortly thereafter, she turned to her online community for support – she’d learned horrible news:
I’m being induced. My water broke and there is nothing they can do. The boys are too small. We aren’t doing well w/ this. My heart is broken
— Diana (@lifeasaSAHM) April 27, 2012
When I saw her updates, my heart broke, too. Diana. Losing her beautiful boys. I couldn’t digest what my friend was about to go through. But when Diana and Sam decided that induction wasn’t an option they could go through with and they preferred instead to keep Diana monitored and on bed rest and let nature take it’s course — the only thing they could do to give their sons even a slim chance at survival — things actually somehow got worse for them.
Despite the fact that the boys were still thriving in Diana’s uterus, and the fact that as of yet there was no infection or imminent threat to Diana’s health, her doctors at UMC would spent the next several days taunting her, berating her decision, and eventually:
Omg. Shakin I’m so angry. Was woken up by an MD who told me basically I’m an idiot taking up an expensive hospital bed and need to go home.
— Diana (@lifeasaSAHM) April 30, 2012
And then this:
The MD just told DH, “I know how pregnant ladies are. I don’t know who told her those babies will make it.” I WANT TO KILL HIM.
— Diana (@lifeasaSAHM) April 30, 2012
And perhaps most offensive of all to the Hippocratic Oath, this:
I can’t believe they want to send me home like this. Or they can’t fathom why we want to try. And have to continually tell me.
— Diana (@lifeasaSAHM) April 30, 2012
She’s a Mother. She’s doing the only thing she can to save her babies lives, and she’s being met with the disdain and mockery of the people who might be able to help her carry these boys to term if they could put their bruised egos aside.
Diana is a Christian and is being called “hysterical” by her doctors for wanting Faith to play a role in the fate of her sons. They’re making her decision to fight for her children’s life out to be solely a religious one, and regardless, they somehow feel that gives them to right to dismiss it. They’re trying to squash her spirit when her strength of spirit is all she and her boys have.
I am a Jew. I’m vehemently pro-choice. Neither of those qualifiers have a place in this conversation – and yet, as a pregnant mother wanting to do everything she could for her unborn children, Diana was almost not given a choice. How many other women have been in her shoes only to trust in the medical advice they are given, and sacrifice their unborn children without a fight?
Diana and Sam now have a patient advocate working with them to ensure that they are given the best medical care available while they continue to fight for Preston and Julian’s lives. But the horror of what they’ve been through these past few days remains.
This should not happen to any patient with any belief system in any situation. I’m sick about the fact that it’s happened to my friend Diana.
Diana has written about the experience (and the unbelievable outpouring of internet support) in her own words HERE.
The brilliant Katherine Stone has also detailed the ordeal HERE.
Jill, Diana, and I on the streets of Nashville.
Update:
Julian and Preston were born this morning. We held them as they met Jesus. Please pray for us.
— Diana (@lifeasaSAHM) May 3, 2012
Get lost in The Valley...
@the818 @lifeasasahm I do too!
I keep going to her twitter and checking it. I just cannot believe the lack of respect those doctors have. You and Katherine are awesome for getting this out there.
It’s infuriating what’s going on over there.
My sister had her daughter at 21 weeks and both are doing very well, despite what the doctors thought. Her daughter is now four years old and thriving. If there’s a chance, it must be taken.
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I am in tears reading this. As I mother of two premature boys, I cannot wrap my head around what she is going through. I am Catholic, pro-choice, from a family of pediatricians, GPs, and OB/GYNs. Diana’s MIS-treatment doesn’t just go against the Hippocratic Oath, it show’s the doctors’ lack of human decency and compassion. I’m saying an extra prayer for Diana and her babies.
I am in tears reading this. As a mother of two premature boys, I cannot wrap my head around what she is going through. I am deeply religious and come from a family of pediatricians, GPs, and OB/GYNs. Diana’s MIS-treatment doesn’t just go against the Hippocratic Oath, it show’s the doctors’ lack of human decency and compassion. I’m saying an extra prayer for Diana and her babies.
Such a great reminder that fighting for the unborn comes in many different situations and packages. Praying that the Great Physician will allow the boys to live!!!!! Thanks for writing such powerful words!!!
<3
@wa_tracy <3
@blogdangerously someone needs to hand her and her husband a set of cojones. I mean, ffs. stand up for yourself!!
@avianchild They did, quite vigilantly, and succeeded. The fact that they had to fight so hard for the care they wanted remains.
@blogdangerously That is horrifying, how can they even fathom such horrendous treatment of your friend. My thoughts and prayers to her.
@lyzl That’s crazy. I’m with her! We feared issues with our twins boys, prayers answered and they were (relatively) healthy at birth.
@mcnary I know. It’s so nuts. I’m hoping and praying things work out.
@lyzl We had Church friends w/ singleton at 27 wks at Lukes. He home now. Bigtime blessing. Our twins (elective) 36 wks +2 wks in hospital.
@mcnary My littlest brother was born at 30 weeks. Preeclampsia. The Drs bullied my dad, trying to get him to end my brother’s life.
@lyzl That nutty. Good on your dad.
@blogdangerously Shocking. Another example of being nothing other than a number. Good luck & very best wishes to your friend.
@blogdangerously omg that is terrible. please keep us posted!
Thank you for writing this post. What is happening to her is an outrage. I am glad to see so many women and mothers banding together, because we women, we mothers do NOT put up with this kind of BS. It has been made quite clear just watching this that when we see wrong being done to one of our own, we say no. And we mean it. Thinking of Diana.
@TheDoseofReality So true. It’s an incredible community of women.
@blogdangerously My 1st was born premie & I went against medical advice-glad I did-she’s 13, perfectly fine & beautiful. #IstandforDiana
@blogdangerously I went into labor w my twins at 20 weeks. Bed rest & hosp kept them til 33 weeks today they are 15
@blogdangerously also when I was inpatient another moms water broke at 19 weeks they kept her in hosp til she went into labor at 25 weeks
@blogdangerously oh my goodness!!! That is horrible!!!
@randomnloveit @blogdangerously Motherfuckers!
@blogdangerously do I need to go all pre-natal on them? Friend broke water at 19 weeks, carried to 30 weeks an has a healthy boy.
@blogdangerously horrible! So glad for the rally of support for her. Every woman deserves the ability of choice and power over her own self!
@the818 @lifeasasahm Love this blog post!
@Paxochka There are moments when I wonder if some people have any humanity in them at all!
@the818 morgan, thanks for writing that post. i love it. also? just left you a comment—had no idea you were Jewish, too!
I heard about this on Twitter. I live in El Paso and am so angry this is happening to your friend. Does she need anything? I would love to help her, as would my whole homeschool group. We are praying for a miracle for her babies. Contact me if there is something I can do.
Thanks!
Check out her “support” page on FB “Hearts for Diana” (which her sister is running) and her blog FB page “Hormonal Imbalances” – I’m sure if you ask either place someone will let you know what you can do to help! I wish I lived closer because I would be helping in a heartbeat!
Oh.My.Hell….after staffing El Paso hospitals for six years with medical professionals, I can’t say I’m surprised though. Their resources leave (much) to be desired. Hang on Diana! Go with your heart and with your faith. My second son was also a preemie and we had to fight for him every inch of the way-if you are not an advocate for your child (or children in Diana’s case), often times no one will be. Keep fighting for what you believe, educate yourself as much as you can and use that patient advocate. No one knows you better than you and there are miracles each and every day.
All my prayers!!
Nicole
@Paxochka what can we do?
Beautifully covered. I’ve been following Diana for a while now and have partnered with another blogger (namammaste.com) to raise funds for Diana. I hope you don’t mind my posting the link here for anyone interesting joining the effort.
http://wosushi.wordpress.com/2012/05/01/social-media-for-good-how-can-you-help/
@amberwest Of course I don’t mind – that’s a lovely idea.