Why I Care So Much About Overturning Prop 8, Even Though I’m Straight

ScottDeePurimI can’t imagine if the government or anyone else was telling me I didn’t have a right to the single greatest joy and accomplishment in my life: Having built this family.

And honestly, I’m pretty sick of hearing bullshit like “nobody is stopping ‘them‘ from being a family” from those who oppose equal rights for all. In the weeks after my wedding, I couldn’t stop staring at my husband. MY HUSBAND. How romantic, I thought, that we had done this thing together, pledged in the most permanent and official way possible to be there for one another for the rest of our lives. To officially never face anything alone again. To be Team Us.

Scott and I had been together nine years when he proposed and I couldn’t fathom feeling more committed to him than I did after NINE YEARS…three of them spent before we dropped the “teen” from our ages, four of them spent 3000 miles apart, one of them spent figuring out if long-distance love and morning-breath love could possibly be the same thing, and the final one spent falling in love all over again realizing that yes in fact it could be. NINE YEARS of fighting to make it work across state, religious, and social lines. I didn’t think that a twenty minute ceremony and a license from the state could make me feel more committed than the very perseverance of our love through all that jazz.

But it did. Somehow, it did. I never in a million years would have thought that a piece of paper could do anything but pale in comparison next to the love and commitment we already knew we shared. But it didn’t. Somehow, that piece of paper became one of the most important things Scott and I have done together. That officialness means something. If it didn’t no one would be fighting for it.


{Scott and I, on our wedding day, having just signed our marriage license}

Here’s hoping the Supreme Court upholds our constitution by wiping out marriage inequality for good. Everyone deserves equal rights.

Image by Leigh Miller{photo by Leigh Miller}


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