No, YOU Get Off MY Internet

GOMIThis morning, Forbes.com released their annual list of 100 Best Websites For Women. It includes everything from food blogs, to personal blogs, to corporate blogs, to message boards and community based sites. Reading through the list, as with most of these lists, I found that some choices were cutting edge, some obvious, some passé, but one choice was puzzling beyond all belief if not utterly disturbing.

Listed right in between financial empowerment site Get Raised and non profit education site Girls Who Code, is the blog and active message board community GET OFF MY INTERNETS (both affectionately and non-affectionately known as GOMI) a site which devotes its bandwidth to skewering and cutting down some of the very women it shares its placement on the Forbes list with.

Not familiar with GOMI? Let me share with you a few passages that have been published there about some of my colleagues.

FROM THE COMMUNITY PAGES:

“I just hope to G-d she doesn’t have another baby.”

“I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that all these people find her so relatable and think she is such a fabulous mom.  I’m done with the hate reading, she is just too much of a disgusting, hot mess for me. “

“She doesn’t have a job offer. Her house is falling apart. She’s still fat and despises motherhood. So aaah, not really good blog material!”

” I seriously can’t even believe that she publicizes a photo of herself Photoshopped to that level. Isn’t it embarrassing for any company working with her that she’s obviously so gross in person that she has to heavily edit herself to look presentable?!

“PS – this isn’t about her being fat, it’s about her being a shameless hypocrite and outright liar.”

“…they branded themselves as “those people who had a child die” and played it to the hilt for blog popularity. “

“I think people are doing it.  I think people have contacted Citibank and other agencies she works/worked for. “

FROM THE FRONT PAGE:

Personal finances. Mental health. Body Image. Divorce. Religion. Baby loss. Parental suitability. Bankruptcy. Job loss. All these things being “snarked on” by the GOMI community, almost always directed at women, wives, mothers, entrepreneurs, and most importantly HUMAN FREAKING BEINGS and that is what Forbes has deemed one of the sites that its many esteemed female readers should be visiting. That’s the fire they’re choosing to fan by including GOMI on their list.

I cut my social media teeth via the online message board while whittling away the hours at my very first job out of college. I liked the quick-witted, semi-anonymous environment. I liked the way that I could filter my persona. I just liked it. It was social. It was an escape. It was something to do.

And later, when I was lying on the couch with relentless nausea at six weeks pregnant, I took solace in a popular pregnancy forum (whose parent site is also included on Forbes 2013 list). It was there that I first came to fully understand that Message Boards had a dark side. A really dark dark side.

The behavior of grown women shocked me. It was like a 24 hour marathon of Rock of Love with pregnant chicks. I made life long friends there, and during some of my lowest moments those women were the only people I was able to turn to. But I also saw an aspect of human behavior that I had never witnessed before. Even amongst some I counted as friends I saw backstabbing and interference that went far beyond the screen and affected real lives. Employers tracked down and called at work. Custody battles interfered with. Secrets shared during the most vulnerable of moments screencaptured and aired out for all the world to see. And yes…on two occasions, full-blown catfishing.

There is a very fine line between the online and off and while we often seem quick to separate the two what happens on the internet IS REAL LIFE. 

The GOMI community seems to feel that it has some sort of vigilante responsibility to police the blogosphere for things it deems irritating and then pick at those scabs until they become giant gaping wounds in the lives of real people. While plenty of stories published to GOMI roll off the backs of their subjects, others have contributed to legitimate damage on the lives and livelihoods of those they seek to mock.

According to an interview with the Daily Dot, GOMI’s founder Alice Walker Wright and her community believe her site provides “a necessary service to bloggers who’ve completely fallen out of touch with reality.” The Dot writes:

Of course, much of the stuff that ends up on GOMI could hardly be called constructive criticism. Blogger Issa Waters, for example, can’t help that she’s overweight, but GOMI took her to task for not publishing readers’ comments. Wright said that type of snark has its own purpose, too.

“It’s a relief valve,” she said. “In my opinion, I think having a place to get things off your chest is healthy. My goal is really just to give people a place to say what they feel like they can’t say to some of these bloggers. A place where they can give their opinion without being shut out.”

And as to the bloggers who might have hurt feelings?

“Would bloggers rather have this stuff in their comments section or on the big Internet hate site GOMI that nobody forces them to read?”

That last comment from Wright reads as rather ironic to me — her site is built around the hate boiling up around sites that like her own site, no one is forcing anyone to read. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt right? Well, just because the GOMI community hasn’t seen the tears, anxiety, sleeplessness, and financial impact that their community has had on the lives of these actual real people who don’t just live in their computers and refuse to publish their vicious comments, doesn’t mean that it’s not just as tangible as the Franzia they’re clutching while they release their own tension by shitting all over others.

We campaign against gossip and bullying for our children, but when adults do it, we call it cutting edge and add them to best of lists. As for Forbes, this particular list, in their own words, was curated to include:

“Informative and compelling content, sure, but also smart design, engaged communities and a voice that speaks to and for the female reader. We’re looking for the inspiration to start businesses, get stress in check, climb the corporate ladder or maybe just Lean In. Of course, there are extra fun points for the escapist sites we rely on to help us pass the dreaded three oh clock hour. …These sites need to make us smile, make us think but most importantly make us share—sometimes via social, sometimes in email but we believe the true mark of great content is the kind that makes you step away from your desk and talk about it.”

Forbes, you should know as well as anyone that talk is currency and you’ve just invested in a dangerous game. I hope you did your research.

Feed Me Seymour

  124 comments for “No, YOU Get Off MY Internet

  1. lynn
    October 15, 2013 at 5:31 am

    Love GOMI. It’s the only blog that has the balls to call out scum bags like Kelle Hampton and others who use their kids on a daily basis simply to generate an income. That hideous Taza is another one. Why don’t these women gets off their obnoxious asses and actually work instead of exploiting their children?

    Mommy bloggers are the worst and to all of you…NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT YOUR KIDS! Go GOMI-keep calling them out!

    • Morgan
      October 15, 2013 at 1:12 pm

      Why don’t you just not read their blogs?

    • Karen
      November 10, 2013 at 10:34 am

      Obviously, there are a lot of people who are interested in their lives and kid’s lives or the “mommy” blogger niche wouldn’t be so big. What you really mean is that YOU are not interested in reading it and since YOU are not interested why don’t you just SIMPLY NOT READ IT?

  2. October 17, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I stopped reading this site a while ago. Too much negativity and infighting. Plus, I needed to start writing and reading and commenting on a blog was sucking up my free time. I like to spend my time being productive and criticizing others who are trying to do that just seemed hypocritical so I left. Hopefully, these people will do the same one day. If you read long enough, you will find that a lot of them are bored, unemployed, on disability or depressed and on meds(the regulars, I mean). There’s no other reason anyone would spend an exorbitant amount of time on there otherwise. Makes sense, right?

    • Mingo
      November 19, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      I was also a reader of GOMI for a couple of years, and I found I needed to wipe their ish out of my life. I love reading the GOMI members-only forums and the number of them posting about hating their mother-in-laws and their SO’s family, and the number of them posting about antidepressants and rehab, and meds. Sad, sad folks. Some of them are talented writers, but I’m guessing the vice mentioned above are keeping them from those unicorn dreams.

      • Janik
        June 1, 2014 at 4:40 pm

        Which is the vice? Depression and other mental illness that needs medication? Addiction and recovery? You sound like a lovely, compassionate person. If a person isn’t dreaming of unicorns, enjoying the small things, or maximizing their one wild and precious life, I guess it’s their own fault.

        • Dhalia
          August 9, 2014 at 5:04 pm

          You sound like you feel personally attacked by her comment. It’s not about you. Their sad VICE is GOMI.

  3. Ahmazing
    November 8, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    GOMI is such a completely creepy site filled with vituperous haters spewing the most pathetic venom.

  4. Karen
    November 10, 2013 at 10:30 am

    What I find so funny about some of the comments from those who are “pro” Gomi, is that they consistently say, “if you don’t like what we are saying, then don’t read it” whenever a post is made criticizing the site.

    The same could be said to those who write hate speech on GOMI, if you don’t like the person’s blog that much, you don’t have to read it, therefore you don’t have to write hateful things about another human being.

    Most of what I have read on that site is ridiculous, all they do is call out perceived wrongs so they can make fun of people all day long. They look so low class for acting that way and jealous.

    A lot of what they call out is ridiculous, too. I just read an article where they made fun of a lady who does some sort of gluten blog. They decided that her telling her readers that she can not constantly make changes to her recipes to suit them, because she does have other priorities in life, was so wrong and hateful.

    At what point does a blogger “have” to sit there and do for each reader what they CAN do for themselves? There really was no material there. At what point does the Washington Post or NY Times sit and baby sit and coddle it’s readers and answer every single question as well as making substitutes for recipes that it posts?

    And when does GOMI attack the Times for it’s lack of coddling and catering to it’s readers?

    There really is nothing wrong with using Google, and it is ridiculous to expect a blogger to do all of your homework for you. I mean I can understand helping out when you have the time, but constantly being asked to tweak your recipe to fit someone else is time consuming and the person asking can do the same work themselves.

    Also, they act like taking the time to gather all the information that a blogger has to do, the research behind it, the editing, and so forth is really not time consuming at all.

    They are just a bunch of snot nose hateful people that have nothing better to do than bite and devour others.

    I’d love them all to start a blog and just show everyone how it’s suppose to be done. You see, it’s not that easy to live under such speculation, and there will always be those that think they are so great and yet will find themselves also with a bunch of snarky comments about this lifestyle choice or that.

    Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

    • March 28, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      My family, all bloggers, have been victims of GOMI. And what for? We post pictures of favorite tea cups, sewing tutorials, a few crafts, and beautiful paintings from the internet. They admit they spend all night perusing my blog and they accuse me of making dresses for my daughter and granddaughter, having too many tea parties, and showing off. Blogging is supposed to be for sharing. There are plenty of bloggers who only post pictures of their gardens, and they deserve to be so hated? I read lots of blogs and have an extensive blogroll, and never do I see any of these people take the time to criticize other blogs. In fact, we all enjoy the community and interaction of the other blogs and promoting each other.
      You are right. GOMI accuses all these bloggers of earning money by posting ads or selling their own hand made products. Is there something wrong with free enterprise? They are the ones that need to get off the internet. I have never seen so much hate in one place.

  5. Kelly
    November 10, 2013 at 10:52 am

    I would love to see someone who wants to do their own site do one that sits there and makes fun of GOMI posts and reader’s comments all day long. They would have to have thick skin and be good at snark. It could be called, “Get off My Planet”.

    Seriously, anyone that wants to use that feel free.

    A lot of what GOMI readers use as an excuse to vomit hate all day long is ridiculous, ” They called out a reader of this site for wanting to “punch” them in the throat and said, ” how is that any different than what GOMI does.”

    It’s a lot different, idiots. There is a big difference in attacking a blogger just because you don’t like what they write about and want to pick at things all day just because you are an a**hole. It’s completely different when you hurt human beings and they respond to your hateful comments with a good ole hyperbole throat punch.

  6. Aida
    November 23, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    GOMI is the equivalent of Walmart. The entire reason people hate shopping there is because it seems to attract all tacky and ill mannered people into one place.

    The fact that the site owner says it’s made of intelligent and educated people says a lot. Her idea of education must be a fast food degree.

    • Caitlin
      December 3, 2013 at 9:32 am

      And you sound delightful

  7. Annabelle
    January 14, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    I found GOMI through the hypocrisy and sanctimony of a blog I used to read and enjoy. Don’t make the mistake of believing bloggers are the sole “victims” of opinion on the internet. They have their packs of rottweiler fan girls, who will rip you to shreds if you dare, (no matter how politely) to point out the obvious flaw in their latest ethical stance.
    Most of these bloggers are not saving the world so in the scheme of things it doesn’t matter, but if they are trying to peddle lies and bullshit to me the reader then why shouldn’t I as the reader, be allowed to comment on that without fear of reprisal. GOMI fills the vast chasm left by deleted comments.

  8. March 7, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Your article and some of the comments here repeat some hackneyed criticisms about GOMI. Bloggers may be “real people,” but they are not private citizens who, through no fault of their own, found themselves unexpectedly and unwillingly in the public eye. These are people who construct personas and brands (yours truly included) and publish content on the internet in order to make money and gain a following.

    Criticism of art is often unwelcome. Unless it’s fawning. In that case, critique is more than welcome. Realizing that I’m probably stretching the definition of “art” pretty thin, I think it’s essential to point out that blogs are fair game for criticism. Because a blogger uses her own life for content, the criticism can seem unfairly personal. Nevertheless, the criticism is of the content and the “artists” who create it.

    When an actress takes a role in a movie, she puts herself in a position to have her acting, her teeth, her hair, her body, her voice, and everything else about herself judged and evaluated. It isn’t easy. You have to have a thick skin. It is, however, a choice.

    And if a woman photographs and serializes the lives of her minor children and people are interested, great. Let her do so until someone wakes up and creates some internet child labor laws (think The Coogan Act). But for her to expect to be immune to opinions is naive at best and absurd at worst.

    Gossip serves a purpose. If I had a nickel for every time someone made the “grown women” and “better use of their time” argument, I could buy a Diet Coke from the soda machine at my real job. When they remember to stock the damn machine. The bastards. Those comments are just microagression shame tactics. Women and men of all ages enjoy gossip and are free to spend our leisure time however it suits us. How is slapping the “fat, lazy haters” stereotype onto GOMI participants any different than what you’re accusing them of doing to others?

    • May 24, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      I can’t speak for everyone who commented here, but I’m certainly not calling GOMI readers fat lazy haters. Just mean.

      Definition of “art” aside, there’s a difference between criticism and trolling. I’m not saying all GOMI content falls under the latter, but most of what I’ve read could hardly qualify as the former.

      You are right though — what I did here was no different from GOMI’s M.O. — I called a blog out on something they do that I don’t like. Weirdly for a community built up around such a concept, I didn’t find such thick skin there — this post is nearly a year old and the comments just keep rolling in.

      I’m not clear on if you have a full understanding of what happened with Jackie Coogan or prompted the Coogan Act based on your comment, but my child has a Coogan account that I contribute to regularly. Many professional bloggers do the same. Contrary to popular belief most family bloggers are parents first.

      • June 1, 2014 at 4:30 pm

        I know what the Coogan Act is. I worked as an actor a bit when I was a teenager, and I’m an educated person, but your condescension is noted for the record.

        Does the law require a Coogan Account for bloggers or is it voluntary? Where do you get the data to support your claim “many professional bloggers do the same”? I am always happy to do research and find out more. I can admit to being wrong. However an anecdotal “Many… bloggers [do what I do]” and “most family bloggers are parents first” doesn’t pass the smell test for evidence in my kind of research.

        Anyway, I think there is a place for criticism. No one is above criticism, nor should they be. I don’t think it’s useful to yell, “Bully! Bullying!” over criticism and bad reviews.

        • Morgan
          June 4, 2014 at 1:45 pm

          The law doesn’t require Coogan Accounts for bloggers, it’s voluntary. I didn’t realize you were doing scientific research on bloggers financial habits, but I’ll decline to disclose that information for anyone but myself.

  9. April 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    GOMI people are a little much. People blog because they enjoy to talk about ______ and people go on GOMI regularly because they enjoy talking bad about people…. A few people there on occasion make a decent point or point out the pink elephant in the room but just as much, there are people who remind me of people I’ve distanced myself from due to their useless, negative, whiny, critical nature. It’s definitely a combination of worthwhile insights and pure Sh** kind of like blogs… I tend to gravitate toward blogs, not GOMI, bc i don’t need to go out of my way to listen to whining and judgment as a hobby….it all gets very exhausting. GOMI posters often come across like the fat, socially awkward, sadistic loser-y friend that stays home and gossips about everyone who is out happy and enjoying life and you just have to laugh and shaw your head at them and take solace in the fact that doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING, even if imperfectly, is a better role than the bump on a log accomplishing nothing beyond some unintelligent observations about the flaws in other human beings.

    • April 15, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      How do you take the higher ground and then call GOMI readers and commenters fat losers? It really undermines your commentary. No one is above criticism. No one is untouchable. Professional writers don’t whine about their critics, or tell book clubs they aren’t alllowed to say mean things, but if they do, they’re fat, lonely, and pathetic. Plenty of brilliant artists are fat, lonely, divorced, infertile, antisocial, ugly, socially inept, and every other adjective you can conjure. Every artist gets feedback, and only the ones who doubt themselves give a shit.

      • Tina S.
        May 23, 2014 at 2:57 pm

        The problem is when it starts spilling out of GOMI and into the snarkee’s social media pages. Unfortunately, a lot of the comments they do end up making outside of GOMI come across as jealous and bitchy, not insightful and constructive. I actually HAVE seen some good points come from GOMI, but unfortunately, there are way too many “bitch eating crackers” comments (the ones that have to do with looks are the ones that make me cringe).

        • May 23, 2014 at 10:30 pm

          I see your point, Tina. I see some of those comments and I just roll my eyes. I take what I like and leave the rest, to paraphrase an old AA saying. It’s actually against GOMI’s commenting policies to take it to the snarkee’s social media pages. People who do it are pariahs on GOMI. If they brag about it or even mention it, they get bitched out. Of course, people still do it, but those people who enjoy the community there get frustrated that it makes them look bad. To me, GOMI is the teachers’ lounge. We vent with our colleagues, but we’d never go to the students or their parents and say, “We were just talking in the teachers’ lounge about how you never turn in your work on time and it’s so annoying.” There’s a place for GOMI.

  10. Connie
    August 9, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    They are a sad, sick, bunch of negative women. I actually feel a bit sorry for them. How they have time to read these blogs, and criticize is beyond me. As my Momma use to say… If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.

  11. Lila
    August 29, 2014 at 3:32 am

    I just discovered GOMI a couple of weeks ago and most of the comments are rather nasty. There is so much negativity. Life is hard enough without the need to be negative on your free time.

    In 2006 I joined the site ex-christian.net , over the course of a few months the forums became a very negative place….there was an even “secret” forum where some of the members formed a club and they would vote in people from the general forums that they wanted to have in the secret forum.

    Lets just say there was a lot of backstabbing in the general forums and the secret forum. I met my S.O. there whom I’m still with to this day, we live together and plan to have a future together so I’m thankful, I also met a few nice folks…but you quickly learn that the internet brings out the worst in people when they post anonymously. My S.O. and I left ex-christian.net after about a year. The place just got to be too negative.

    I don’t get why so many people go to GOMI complain about someone else’s life. They complain about the littlest thing like if someone’s arm is hairy in a photo. Are their lives that pathetic that they complain about everything a blogger does? Leads me to believe that there’s not much going on in most of these peoples lives.

    Some of the people there are positive and do provide constructive criticism. But I have no time for vampires (negative people). There is a difference between haters and normal people who don’t like a blog or disagree with a blogger but the latter don’t waste their time blogging about how they hate what so and so did or didn’t do.

    It’s too bad that no one has sued GOMI for slander. As for me I’m going to continue to support my favorite bloggers and surround myself with positive people in real life and online. I hope the bloggers that GOMI users criticize continue to rise and rise. The best revenge is success.

    I really do think that blogs should do away with anonymous comments. Perhaps GOMI shouldn’t surprise us, I got my taste of bullying in elementary school and 99% of the time the bullies have been other girls. I’m a woman. Anyway I have tough skin from all these experiences. You just have to keep going and never give up, this is true in blogging and in life.

  12. QueeQuee
    September 6, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Alice Wright is a total hypocrite who thinks GOMI is much more important than it actually is. She compares herself to bloggers who have a much bigger following saying that she and the website are far more popular when they not. It’s laughable how important she thinks she is, when she’s flat broke and clearly doesn’t have a social life.

    Her delusional sense of “popularity” has nothing to do with her, it has to do with the cheapest way to draw in people and conversation. By doing so with the message of HATE.

    Hitler got a bunch of followers because he screamed hate speech and blame to a bunch of people that wanted to point the finger. Sure, comparing Alice to Hitler might be a stretch, but she’s basically doing the same thing.

    If you create a website where you hate women, whites, blacks, gays, Jews, in a week you can very easily get a thousand followers. In a month you can get ten thousand, in a year…. a million. It doesn’t matter if 95% of your site is pictures of poop in a toilet, getting a bunch of people together to vent their hate is not hard nor is it really anything to brag about.

    I get that some bloggers need a wake up call with how they come across. I get that criticism can be very helpful. However, this isn’t about helping a blogger see the light – its about “hate reading” which let’s be real, if you’re having an amazing day with lots of options to do things, you don’t sit on GOMI and “hate read” when you have other options.

    Alice was called out earlier this week, because someone posted an experience they had taking a blogger’s class and while it was too much money for what was offered, she regretted nothing because she met some good people.

    Everyone called her an idiot for having an unbiased real life experiences and Alice told her to get off GOMI. Someone even starting whining the person was reeking of privilege because everyone else of the board is broke.

    While Alice says it’s an open discussion board, it’s not. If you come in neutral and want to talk about the PROS and the cons, Alice views you as a problem. Then when someone posted how could Alice say on Facebook and in articles that everyone is welcome and it’s a place not to get banned and just to speak your mind… yeah well she removed the comment and blocked the commenter. If that’s not a hypocrite, lord knows what is.

    It’s as if Alice can’t have a real discussion because then people will have to look at themselves and maybe grow up and evolve past the board.

    GOMI is great for promoting the people they hate but overall it’s just a sad place.

    To quote ElegantFaker, “Good god. The stench of general fat girl bullshit is overwhelming. Not pretty, honey. Not pretty at all. You never got over high school, huh?”

  13. JJ
    September 18, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    I know this article is a million years old but i recently discovered the website that shall not be named by accident, and *really* wish I hadn’t. I think its shameful that people have nothing better to do but rip on other people all.day.long. These people wouldn’t have the guts to say what they think in public, yet its completely acceptable to slam online. Whatever happened to being polite, not reading something you hate, stop following if you don’t like content, uplifting others, etc. I could go on and on….I wouldn’t be surprised if that disgusting website is the reason Young House Love is on leave. Anyways, good for you for standing up for yourself and other bloggers with this post. I am sure those hamcats, or whatever they are called, had a freaking hay day.

  14. onlyconnect
    September 19, 2014 at 7:34 am

    I would not mind GOMI if it stuck to exposing underhanded blogging practices and the comments weren’t so hateful. I think as it stands it is harmful to women because so much of the hate is focused solely at women and there is a lot of body shaming and, sort of, career shaming of women bloggers.

    I have posted several polite but critical comments on the site, and Alice now cuts off my ability to post or respond after I post a comment. For example, GOMI recently posted an article about someone charging money to new members of her Anthropologie style Facebook page. I wrote a comment saying that I thought GOMI should be more accepting of women making money off if their weird talents through blogging and that as long as there was a market for their styling or writing skills I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I also said I thought GOMI was too critical of women who made money off the Internet, and that it had only been a year and a half ago that Alice herself raised money from her readers through the “donate” button when Federated Media stopped running ads on GOMI. Alice then blocked my ability to post and denied me access to the site.

    I’m posting here because I think it’s important for people to know that she blocks regular people who politely criticize her posts or her site. I’m just a regular person who hasn’t drunk the cool aid and sometimes tries to post an opposing viewpoint — again, VERY POLITELY — on GOMI, and I am regularly blocked. It has happened to me half a dozen times. Alice doesn’t mention in interviews that she blocks regular people who disagree with her, and the fact that she does completely conflicts with her posturing of GOMI as some sort of Internet release valve where critical comments are welcome.

    The site is just so weirdly hypocritical. They rag on mommy bloggers who close comments, but Alice regularly blocks comments that are politely critical of GOMI. They mock bloggers whose fans attack critical comments, but take a gander at the nasty language and ridicule you get if you just politely disagree with Alice. They mock bloggers who ask fans for money instead of having a full time job or whine about how much work their website is, but Alice has asked for and taken money from her readers several times, only does contract work instead if having a full time job, and has often remarked on how much of her time and money the site and server take up. So much hypocrisy.

  15. Em
    October 6, 2014 at 8:29 am

    I have mixed feelings about GOMI. I read there but rarely post because I have been cut down myself, and I feel really defensive and upset, and have to tell myself to get over it because I never really needed to say anything in the first place to total strangers, did I? And then I remember that’s what bloggers do, and those are the repercussions of posting your ish publicly, no matter what kind of saint you may be. The reason I still lurk there is because I am truly interested in a couple of HLB blogs I used to follow when I was totally disordered, and as I recovered, I realized their “recoveries” were complete BS. I also began to realize how cushy their lives were and how out of touch with reality (likely due to their disorders) they are. And it scares me to think I actually looked up to them, or considered their lives ‘ideal’ to the point I wanted to blog about my workouts and safe foods and how ‘busy’ my daily life was too. So now I use GOMI to keep up on those train-wrecks without actually having to give their blogs any views, which bloggers boast is their source of income. I will NOT support that, no thank you.
    Sometimes I think if I were completely mentally recovered and satisfied with my life, I probably wouldn’t give a crap about these bloggers any more, but at the same time, I feel it’s no different from people who once in awhile will pick up a tabloid while in the dr.’s office or while getting a pedicure or something. I don’t much care about what’s going on in celebrity news or on Facebook, but GOMI, I’ll definitely stop by on my lunch break at my computer.

  16. October 8, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    I used to get on GOMI. Overall, it was a completely negative experience for me. At first it seemed harmless, a way to let off steam, a way to vent about a couple of bloggers I didn’t care for, a way to see what was up in the blogging world – what people were talking about. But, later on it became a kind of dark addiction – a very bad habit, and it was actually bringing me down.

    Right away, I realized I was probably not cut out for GOMI. I’m intelligent, I have morals, I am basically a kind person. In in the forums, I really felt like I didn’t belong there – I was offended by much of what I read, and astounded at the ignorance. Some of the long time members are bullies – they like to gang up and attack anyone who may have something intelligent and insightful to say – they like vulgarity and venom – and you have to play their way or get out. I saw it happen to others, and yes, it happened to me, too.

    Hate does generate more hate. GOMI is NOT a positive experience and the longer you are on, the weirder it gets. I didn’t like myself for for going to GOMI – I didn’t want anyone to know, it was like a dirty little secret. For awhile, I was hitting it everyday – a few times a day in fact. Why??? I think I was in kind of a dark place, I know I felt anger about some things personally – unfairness, blahblahblah. GOMI was a kind of escape. But it felt wrong to me all along.

    Finally, I just wanted to stop the madness of it all. I was kind of addicted to it at that point and it was so incredibly negative for me. It was so dumb. I felt dumb – I really started to understand some things about myself and why I was going to GOMI. So I decided to cut my own throat so to speak.

    I got on and I slammed GOMI and Alice Wright. I expressed my real feelings about how negative GOMI can be and how hateful the members are – they are a hateful group of human beings. I knew Alice Wright would block me and she did just that. Thank GOD. It was over. Hate is a vicious cycle and I felt it creeping into my system – I am so glad its done.

    In thinking about it all now, its so strange to think a stupid website could affect me so negatively. I think Alice Wright is a huge bully, she is a mean hateful person – the things she would write were so offensive – yet, no one there says anything to her – she rules her domain with a iron fist and the long time members follow her lead and adopt her attitude. That – her – is the biggest turnoff to GOMI. Along with all the stupidity, the ignorance, the hatred. GOMI was like being in a hellhole with a bunch of childish, hateful, evil urchins. A scary experience for me. I an grateful and thankful I got myself out of it all. So damaging.

  17. Lola
    October 31, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Just came across this article! I found GOMI after I became frustrated with a blog I used to really like. I pretty quickly found it to be a pretty depressing place, for a slew of reasons. First and foremost, the unremitting negativity and (ridiculous) focus on other women’s looks/bodies. Second, the constant ‘baby-bump watch’ and general inquiry into the state of any given blogger’s uterus; I swear they’re worse than Us Weekly. Third, it seems like EVERY person on that site is miserly. They criticize people for taking ‘too many vacations,’ for buying ‘too much clothing,’ for having ‘too many dinners out,’ etc. – as if they have any insight into a person’s private financial situation, and as if all spending is unjustifiable. It’s absurd.

    I know GOMI devotees vociferously deny this charge, but sorry – they really do seem jealous. I can’t wrap my head around why else you’d spend so much time ripping into other peoples’ lives. Just stop reading their blogs.

    • QueeQuee
      November 9, 2014 at 9:06 pm

      Alice is so pathetic she actually even details the bloggers personal lives that aren’t included in the blog. Like when a blog went silent for a while, Alice posted on the main page about how the blogger is divorcing and how juicy the break up is and horrible details that the blogger didn’t want to bring up in her blog. The woman was ending a marriage and wanted to get off of social media – who can blame her and Alice then posted things that really no one had any business in knowing about the shit behind the scenes.

      Alice is a fool not to think GOMI will not only lose her job opportunities but alienate anyone who does any web searching about the type of person she is. Friends, in-laws, colleagues and the lot.

      Some people are so desperate for attention, they’ll do anything for friends. Her website is a second-version of ratemypoo.com

  18. Sarita
    March 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    I pity Alice Wright. At first when I read about her site I was angry and wanted to find out who the blogger behind it was but after reading her story I just feel bad for the woman. Its a bit dated but I read an article with her from 2012. Her site was making $300 a month, not enough to pay for her servers and she couldn’t afford to pay her phone bill. The article also painted her as an alcoholic. I found rather than hating her I felt bad for her. I mean is her site a vehicle to make her feel better about herself? Typical bully behaviour.. She puts so much energy into hating and looking for the bad in people. What a horrible way to go through life. And its not just her its all the commenters that hide behind usernames. It’s as if people are trying to boost their self-worth by ripping into people. I only read the site once – never again, but one post I saw people were being horrible about a woman’s physical features and the distance of her eyes to each other. That’s bullying and hatred pure and simple. Alice thinks that she’s on some crusade to help keep bloggers real but come on some of the comments are just b**** and not at all constructive.

  19. TB
    July 9, 2015 at 7:19 am

    Here’s the weird part. Why do you care so much how someone makes a living? Obviously someone likes their writing well enough for them to make an income from it. If you hate it so much, um……DON’T READ IT. If everyone hated it, they wouldn’t be able to make a living from it and would stop. But they can, so they do. Are you also pissed off at all the people who support them? It’s bizarre. It’s like hating Disney or ICarly. I find both insipid and charmless, but there are millions who disagree. So what do I do? I avoid both and don’t give them my time or money. If others like that stuff and get enjoyment from it, have at it. What do I care? You seem to enjoy the “hating” aspect of it and I think the bigger question is….why do you enjoy the hating so much?

  20. TVB
    July 9, 2015 at 7:29 am

    But many artists doubt themselves. To doubt is human. To have frailities and sensitivity is part of the Life Contract. Most people DO give a shit, maybe not about eveyrthing, but I guaranteed you there are a few things you “give a shit” about. There’s going to be something you’re sensitive to. Very few people have little to no self doubt and oftentimes they are narcissists or sociopaths. Listen, GOMI has some good points to make – some bloggers are simply bad writers guilty of purple prose and pretentiousness. Others are just clumsy and obvious. Every artist, entreprenuer or “person putting themselves out there” will have to endure criticism and grow a thicker hide if they want to go on producing public work. But GOMI doesn’t just challenge a blogger to move past mediocrity or re-think a pompous post. They nitpick endlessly on things a blogger can’t control…like body shape or bad hair. They decide you are a horrible, shallow, worthless person based on a paragraph. They entertain notions and gossip about what goes on in the marital bedroom, concoct endless scenarios that would be humiliating for any normal person to read about themselves. They like to be mean for the sake of being mean. They have a pack mentality that becomes shrill with glee over someone’s bad fortune. I don’t like that ugliness that GOMI contains. To say someone is defective for feeling hurt over a really low blow…..that’s surprising coming from an artist/writer such as yourself. Emotions are valid.

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