Cleaning My Insides; A Workout For My Mind

Can Can

If you’re new here and you’ve been enjoying yourself, I’m sorry to inform you that I’m one of those freaky people who does cleanses. But I promise I never burn patchouli and I do my best to shower regularly. (You’ll have to remind me sometime to tell you about this one horrific colonic I had. And until then your imagination is welcome.)

I tried to start cleansing when a coworker of mine did the master cleanse for an entire 40 day film shoot (that’s the one where you drink lemonade and maple syrup for every meal) but I only made it twelve hours without getting seriously sick to my stomach.

I actually started cleansing when my doctor advised it because, to spare you the details, I have slow digestion and once and a while the system can use a reboot. And I found the results pretty awesome — a more precision you, at least until you start putting all the crap back in via living. So now I do it every few months or so.

This time, I tried the Can-Can Cleanse, a juicery with roots in LA and San Francisco that offers soup with their fresh juice to keep you from going totally insane. I knew I needed a liquid-only cleanse this time. Because this time would be the jumping off point for kicking a lot of bad stuff out of my diet for good. Namely wheat, but also any and all things artificial because I just feel gross all the time. And since I only feel good when I eat clean, my solution is to eat clean all the time. I know…revelatory.

And since Scott also feels gross all the time and plans to kick all those things too, he decided (just a little too late to Can-Can) that he wanted to spend his weekend drinking juice just like me.




Quick Price Comparison for you: a prepared cleanse like Can-Can runs around $215 for 3 days, while Scott’s 3 days worth of juicing supplies cost $63 all in (not including the Juicer, which we already had collecting dust in a cabinet thanks to a raffle at Martha Stewart’s offices back in 2010). I’ll concede, the $215 Can-Can Juice was way tastier and more varied than the recipes we used for Scott’s $63 (plus scleanse, and obviously more convenient. Although Scott did make a pretty awesome beet potato soup/juice.

Anyway, I stuck with the Can-Can juice and day one was surprisingly easy, I didn’t have many cravings and no withdrawal headaches, which come pretty standard with most cleanses. And I felt fine. Not hungry. Not full of liquid. Just satiated and fine.

When I woke up on day two (after a freakish 12 hour sleep, courtesy of Dee being at my parents, hallelujah) I wasn’t out of bed two minutes before Scott commented on my energy and attitude being seriously improved compared to my usual morning self. So there’s that.

The hardest part of a juice cleanse is really just that you miss food. It’s almost as much of an exercise for your head as it is for your digestive tract, and I always come out feeling like I’ve gained some mental clarity, even if it’s just a little confidence in my own will power.

This time, by the end of day three I was feeling legitimately excellent and was just starting to miss chewing, so I had an apple, which is kind of allowed. Three days later, still wheat and dairy free I think this has been one of my best cleanse experiences so far. I didn’t lose any real weight of note but two different people have called me “svelte” since Monday, which I attribute to being less puffy in the face.

And now I can’t stop juicing. It’s practically contagious.


A massive thanks to Can-Can for providing me with free juice and moral support so I could take their cleanse for a spin. And even bigger thanks to them for offering you guys $20 their cleanse between now and January 15th. Use the code GIFT4THE818 (all caps) at checkout to redeem.

Feed Me Seymour