The other day, Delilah was asking about Madden…our German Shepherd who died suddenly of kidney failure last month.  Dee’s only 2, so she isn’t really developmentally able to grasp death yet (trust me, I asked like every expert in ear shot.)  But she is old enough to have memories and articulate her thoughts.

…And she’s telling us all the time that she misses Maddie.  The other day she began to introduce me to her puppies.  Sophie…Otis Redding…and...where Maddie go?

I can’t speak when she brings up Mads.  Scott is left with the task of reminding her that Maddie isn’t here any more – that she got old, and sick, and had to go away.  Then, we usually offer to take out photos of Maddie so she can remember her.  Delilah likes that.  Sometimes she gets confused and asks to see photos of Sophie and Otis, too.

Only this time, she squealed and said “YEAH!  And I’m gonna be excited and hug her and kiss her!!!”  Needless to say I lost it.    But then in the next breath she’s telling us she loves Otie, he’s her puppy…and she’s so happy he’s here.   

I’m happy he’s here too.  It’s such a strange feeling though.  I miss Madden so much.  I look at Otie sometimes and I can’t believe he’s part of our family now and Mads is gone.

But then, I see Sophie hounding around with him, and I know…I just know Maddie was hurting for longer than she ever let on.  I know she was older than she ever let on. Because Sophie hadn’t played her usual reindeer games in longer than I can really put a finger on.

These days, my Houndy Girl is a floppy fool.  She’s got a puppy to raise.

Also – that grass is fake.

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Because he’s red.  And he’s awesome.  You can call him Otie.  Dee does.  11 Weeks Old, and Fifteen lbs of sweet Coonhound/Lab love.  Our hearts still hurt, but this little guy is like a dose of percocet for the soul.

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Maddie and Scott in the old Bronco, December ’05.