If you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother, here’s another good reason you should be:
Category Archives: Videos
I’m having a Jessie Spano Moment.
You know that episode of Saved by the Bell when the girls start a girl group called the Hot Sundaes, and Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills so Zack has to talk her down while she maniacally screeches the opening bars to “I’m so excited!” but then in a shocking turn of self discovery she replaces the 3rd repetition with “I’m so scared” and collapses in tears? That’s kind of how I feel this week. (But without the life threatening caffeine intake.)
First of all, look at how much more enormous my belly has gotten in the past month? (See, I’m allowed to say “enormous” because I’m me. That still doesn’t give anyone else permission. You might want to make a note of that somewhere, everyone on earth.)
That’s a lot of baby growin’. And as the belly gets bigger, and the movements coming from inside of it become more distinct, saying things like “when she gets here” seems crazy, because she IS very much here, she’s got a mind of her own already, and she’s almost done baking. Except right now she doesn’t ask for much, and I can take her anywhere. I assume all of that’s going to change once this inside baby becomes an outside baby.
Anyway – sleep is something that’s becoming more and more elusive to me. Now that there’s six pounds of human chillin’ on my bladder I have to pee around every five seconds. That slows to about hourly when I sleep. And once 4:30 or so rolls around, my internal clock seems to think I’ve had enough of this pesky sleep business (it’s wrong) and wakes me up for good. I thought the sleepless nights didn’t start until the baby comes, but it looks like I’m training for that nightmare already.
So the past few nights, as I lay awake between pees (pee’s?) I do a little mental tango, a’la Ms. Spano.
“I’m so excited…”
We’re gonna meet our baby! She’s gonna be so little, and we’re gonna be so in love.
“I’m so excited…”
I’m going to get to lay on my stomach, and drink a Margarita, and snuggle with my daughter, and just spend time getting to know this new little person.
“I’m…so…scared.”
Who the fuck said I could be a parent?!
…I mean, this is some scary shit. I’ve never been solely responsible for a newborn for more than 2 minutes while my sister used the bathroom. I panic about the name we’ll give her, the doctor we chose for her, how long to breastfeed, where she’ll go to preschool, whether she’s going to be a sleeper or a screamer, if LA is the right place to raise a child… Should I get the H1N1 vaccine? How am I going to balance work and motherhood? Will I ever lose the baby weight? Are Scott and I going to forget how to be awesome? Will I finish everything on my to-do list before she arrives? …and on and on and on….
But then it passes, and I’m excited again.
Here’s the update:
How far along? 36 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: I’m no longer on speaking terms with my scale.
Stretch marks? They’re creeping out from under my tattoo. At least I’m pale and they’ll fade away, right?
Sleep: See above rant.
Best moment this week: I got to see her on the ultrasound for the first time since 20 weeks. She’s big.
Movement: She’s wiggling right now.
Food cravings: All of them.
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Some minor cramping.
Belly Button in or out? Just barely in.
What I miss: My fall wardrobe.
What I am looking forward to: Not being pregnant.
Weekly Wisdom: The dude at my nail place was afraid to give me a foot massage, for fear he’d accidentally induce me. I don’t know where the wisdom is in that, but I thought it was funny/annoying.
Milestones: I had my last ultrasound. Next time I see her, she’ll be in my arms.
Be kind, please click:
Killing me softly (Ikea 2010)
Labor Day weekend, and all it’s panic-inducing implications, found Scott and I once again trolling the (jam packed, nightmarish) halls of our favorite mecca of affordable Scandinavian Home Furnishings. This time we were only there for some antique stain (to ensure our changer top matches our Crib) and a single bolt that was missing when we picked up the original Leksvik parts from the nice lady we met on Craigslist. But what started as an innocent cure for the cabin fever that had overtaken me from having spent the past week indoors in an effort to protect our little girl from the noxious fumes coming from the fires engulfing our city, ended in sheer and utter heartbreak. (Dramatic, I know.) Oh, the agony.
Although I’ve yet to post the [pretty darn fantastic] end results of the room we constructed entirely from Expedit Shelving (aka, my new office) you may 
recall that we used two massive Black-Brown Expedits for the endeavor. Despite the fact that the Ikea 2010 catalog has been out for over a month now (and naturally, sitting in my Expedit office) I had yet to open it. Had I thought to do so, I might not have been in for such a shock when I entered my home away from home in beautiful down town Burbank. Ikea has expanded it’s Expedit line, and in addition to the classic Birch, White, and Black-Brown we’ve come to know and love, there is now a Walnut Veneer available for purchase. Excuse me while I stab myself in the face. Sure, it’s still particle-board wrapped around cardboard, but it’s pretty. And I want it. In fact I want two. I’m trying to comfort myself by remembering that the veneer would probably stand out like a sore thumb against the real wood of the same shade that currently lines the walls of our living room, from my beloved wall panels to the Lane Dovetail End Tables neighboring my Expedit office, and that the black-brown adds contrast to an otherwise walnut and teak living space, but really, all I can think is: “Why Ikea Gods, Why?!”
Above, the Walnut’s debut in the new Catalog (available for viewing online, HERE.)
Oh, and if you haven’t caught it – check out Ikea Heights, a Mock Soap Opera shot guerrilla style entirely on location in Ikea, Burbank. It’s pretty funny.
Where is my mind?
Some days, when I wake up, it feels like my brain never got the rise n’ shine memo. My eyes are open, my fingers might even be typing, but my mind is just…somewhere else. Looks like today is fixin’ to be one of those days.
So I leave you with this:
This video is close to my heart because – little known fact – I too am a white girl who does an EXCELLENT impersonation of Bill Cosby. Seriously.
(If you’re not watching Tosh.0, you should be.)
Stuff that’s pretty funny.
The Best Tattoo Ever.
Funny, right?
I found it on this funny girl’s blog called “Confessions of a Fat Girl” and I couldn’t resist stealing it. You can check her out here.
The Best Commercial Ever:
I’ve worked on my fair share of commercial concepts the past few years and I’ve even occasionally come across one that’s so good, it’s deemed too racy (slash funny) for TV. This Schick Quattro spot makes me laugh every time I see it – it might be one of my all time favorites. *sigh* Too bad I had nothing to do with it. Enjoy!
Doctor’s Orders.
So, when my OB says “low sodium diet” she’s not talking about the weekends, right?
It’s Emma’s birthday, so how could I pass up a delicious meal at Benihana? Cheeseball that I am, naturally, I love Benihana – both for it’s delicious Imperial Dinner (Lobster and Steak – yum) and for it’s kitschy entertainment value.
And yesterday (in between painful trips up and down the stairs finally moving items into storage to get our nursery started, but more on that later…) we said farewell to Marcos over delicious Turkey Burgers and Cupcakes (also not quite on my food list, but again…I have no self control, and being bad tastes so good.)
Much to my dismay (although I couldn’t be more excited for him) he’s off to Atlanta until December to Executive Produce a new series for the CW. Here’s the promo – and everyone should watch the show, because with Cos at the helm, I can personally guarantee it is going to be awesome.
Anyway…back to my lack of self control and poor eating habits. The only way I’ve made it through this so-called “diet” at all has been by outlawing all things delicious from being in our house, prompting Scott to complain “there is not one thing worth eating here.” (I pointed out that there were blueberries in the fridge, to which he replied “yeah, that’s nothing. Part of not one thing.”) Oh, and before you go thinking what a terrible mother I am, I feel compelled point out that this diet is solely for my benefit, to help quell the swelling, not for the safety of my unborn daughter in any way. So I’m just a terrible me.
Love is indiscriminate. California is not.
On September 29, 2007 I married the love of my life. No one tried to stop me. Our family and friends gathered, drank (a lot), danced, and celebrated with us the joy that we’ve found in each other. Every day when I wake up next to my husband, I’m grateful that I get to experience marriage, because it truly is a wonderful thing to share your life with another person. I still giggle a little every time I get to call Scott my Husband.
As a newlywed, and a human being, I’m deeply saddened that not everyone has the legal right to experience that very same thing. If you love someone, and you want to spend your life with that person – start a family with them – grow old with them, I believe that you should be able to do that, no questions asked. The fact that same-sex marriage is up for debate is both baffling and sickening to me. This isn’t a question anyone should get to decide for you. This is a commitment to be made between two people, without the interference of their government, or worse, a religious movement that’s not even their own.
Today, the California Supreme Court failed to overturn Prop 8, the proposition which stripped same-sex couples of the right to marry. Although the fight will wage on, it’s a heartbreaking day for everyone who has worked so hard for the equailty this country claims to pride itself on, but still, after all these years, fails to practice. If you want to get involved in the fight to win marriage back, you can visit the EQ CA website here: www.eqca.org/overturn8
2nd Generation.
Like…omigod, there’s a Valley Girl in my tummy. I guess I’ll have to register for that silver spoon after all…the babe’s gonna hafta have something fancy to gag herself with.
Nope, it’s not a dildo…
It’s a portable ultrasound machine for your [windows based] cell phone. (Although in my bachelorette party-planning days I did stumble across a dildo that hooks up to the iPod playlist of your choice.) Unfortch, I have an iPhone, so I won’t be able to see my wee one while I wait at the car wash, or when someone’s running late for a meeting. But seriously. SERIOUSLY? It’s not enough that pregnant women all over the world are already over-analyzing their baby’s evey in utero movement with DIY home dopplers? No, no…hormonal hyperactive anxiety balls need just one more reason to have a panic attack when they can’t locate their unborn child on their CELL PHONE.
If you’re curious about how an abomination of technology like this would work – here you go:
