I laugh in the face of sleep.

Dearest Dee –

I know it was daylight savings time and all, but last night’s encore performance of “The Girl Who Hated Sleep” was truly your best ever. From your 7:30pm sleepy-time fake-out (you really had me going there) to your 8pm roll-into-the-crib-rails-and-wail, the hits just kept on coming.   By 4am, and your 27th wake-up of the evening, I was certain that we must be nearing the end of this epic performance.  Little did I know there was a twist in store.   Waking up at 4 o’clock in the morning for good?!  Pure genius. I never saw it comingsdzjkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…OH shit, I fell asleep while writing your letter.   What’s that?   You’re laughing in my face and shrieking for me to play with you?  No problem baby, just hang on a sec while Mommy inserts this catheter into her arm in order to continuously mainline Peet’s coffee so as not to disturb your schedule of shrieking, laughing, and playing, sans sleep.   What’s that darling?   Coffee isn’t strong enough?   You recommend Mommy try out that crack-rock she’s heard so much about?   Anything for you, my sweet.     Just so long as you don’t miss a moment of playtime.

Love and hopeless devotion,
Mommy.

P.S.   You’re getting your 5 month shots today.   Did Mommy forget to tell you that?

(And thanks to Fancy for this lovely little ditty.)

Feed Me Seymour