I do. I totally still do.

For our first anniversary, we got each other tickets to the playoffs and ate year-old cake. (Dodgers vs. Cubbies…*sigh* the good ‘ol days.)

For our second anniversary, I was nine months pregnant, and we ordered dinner from a local italian restaurant and uh…tried to induce labor, if you know what I mean. (obviously you do.  you’re not 12.)   Nine days later, we got each other a baby.

But this year, I’m kind of at a loss.   What do I get a man to commemorate a year which forced him to live up to every. single. word. he said to me on the beach that day?   How do you thank a man who fought off his own darkness with one arm while he carried you through your all-encompassing, no-room-for-his-darkness, dark place with the other?   What do you say to a husband with whom you’ve weathered a storm the likes of which neither of you ever imagined facing just three short years ago, when you ran into the ocean in your wedding gown, drunk with happiness, all the promises of giddy teenage kisses finally coming true.    How do you bottle up all of the admiration and gratitude for him you’ve been failing miserably to express all year long and put it into words?

You can’t.   Because there are no words in the English language big enough to encompass it.

But there are a few in the Hebrew language that sum it up nicely.  (OMFG, I am about to get a little bit religious on you guys.  This is so unexpected of me.  But it’s happening…)

Ani L’Dodi, v’Dodi Li

{I tried to post the Hebrew here but the Internet wasn’t having it.}*

Chances are you’ve heard these words before.   I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.

This year challenged the meaning of that phrase.   Because up until this year, it seemed our union had been charmed.   We’d shared happiness.   We’d shared joy.   We’d shared success.   But this year, we shared so much more than that.  And when I stopped being able to hold up my end of ANY bargain, he didn’t complain.   He was tired and sore and road weary and all of those things too, but he just kept on.    Kept on keeping the house together.   Kept on keeping all of us fed.   Kept on stepping up time after time to take Delilah so I could melt-down for a minute or two…never asking for a minute or two to lose control in return.   He carried me.   He kept us from collapsing in on ourselves.  Because I am his beloved.   And he is mine.

When we said those words under the chuppah on our wedding day, when I listened to my catholic husband muddle through the Hebrew with a crooked grin because he knew it was important to me,  I had no concept of how much meaning they’d come to hold.   

This year I realized that the sixteen year old boy I fell in love with all those years ago has somehow, before my very eyes, transformed into a man.   Scott and I have spent the last twelve years growing up together, and this year forced us to do the most growing yet.  And now he’s added Father to the list of things he’s freaking amazing at, and even though I truly thought I couldn’t possibly have loved him any more than the day we said I do?  I DO. Every day.

Scott and I circa 1999 in a project by Sara, and Scott last week, ruling at fatherhood.

To see a slideshow from our wedding day, click HERE.

And also, I came across this picture while looking for the one above, and it made me laugh because I’m pretty sure this is us trying to look sexy and romantic, so here you go:

*(If you’re trying to place it, Victoria Beckham [unfortunately] has the Hebrew tattooed on her scrawny neck…)

Also, because I’m a sap, I’ve added the video we made, which was shot by our guests on Super 8 cameras we handed out (thanks guests!) and also by Sean who is awesome.

Oh, and go visit our genius wedding photographer Leigh Miller who is still putting up with me three years later.


Feed Me Seymour

  38 comments for “I do. I totally still do.

  1. September 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Mazal Tov!

  2. September 29, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Okay, I just have to say how insanely parallel your first paragraph is to my life. We ate our year old cake on our first anniversary (like most do), but on our 2nd anniversary I was 9 months pregnant and our son was born 9 days later too! How randomly coincidental, right?

    Anyway, lovely post. Well written. Congrats!

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:02 am

      Really?! 9 days later? That is randomly coincidental!

  3. September 29, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    ::full of tears::

    perfect. Happy Anniversary, my sweet friend & her amazing other half.

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:02 am

      xo.

  4. September 29, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    When is your anniversary? My third was yesterday!

  5. September 29, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Ps – Happy anniversary!!!

  6. September 29, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    I’ve been a follower for awhile, but I’m still getting to “know” you. Love this post. Made me cry. Beautiful. Happy anniversary.

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:03 am

      Thank you. <3

  7. September 29, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Warm and fuzzy :) Love this. Happy anniversary you gorgeous couple you!

  8. September 29, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Happy anniversary.

  9. September 29, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Great post. Happy anniversary!

  10. September 29, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Beautiful. Happy anniversary! And also? Your slid shows are amazing!

  11. Kelli
    September 29, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    I’ve never read your blog before, but came here from Blair’s link, and it made me cry. This post really shows how in love you are. Happy Anniversary.

  12. September 29, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    wow Morgan! incredible. you’re making me wish i wasn’t a thousand some miles away from my better half: i want to say thank you in every way i know how.
    you wrote this so beautifully.

    thank you for it – and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

  13. September 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    You look lovely. I love the pic of you guys with the writing on you.

    You always strike me as such a free spirit – so totally content with yourselves and each other as people.

    Congrats on your anniversary!!

  14. September 29, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Beautifully written! I LOVE it!

    And Congrats :)

  15. Laura
    September 29, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Happy Anniversary!! What a beautiful tribute to your time together! I love your blog and have been following your story. Cheers, to many more happy years!!

  16. nicole
    September 29, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Hi I am Nicole from ColiesKitchen.com I wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.

  17. Joy
    September 30, 2010 at 3:47 am

    Beautiful story! Warms my heart and although you think you can’t put it into words sometimes, you just did.

  18. September 30, 2010 at 3:50 am

    Awe. You two are total hotties ;)

    Here’s to many more!

  19. Amy
    September 30, 2010 at 4:05 am

    This post made me cry. Happy Anniversary. It is always so nice to hear a “real” love story that has its downs…instead of what we read and see on TV with only the ups!

  20. September 30, 2010 at 5:50 am

    this has to be one of the most heart-felt and beautifully written posts i’ve ever read about a lover. this gives me hope.

    also, you’re absolutely stunning.

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:04 am

      Thank you!

  21. TheNextMartha
    September 30, 2010 at 7:22 am

    Just Beautiful. Love.

  22. Karen Lisa
    September 30, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Mazel tov! And I smiled reading your ceremony recollection. My hubs grew up Catholic & did all the Jewish stuff because he knew how much it means to me. You have a beautiful family. :)

  23. September 30, 2010 at 11:51 am

    So so so gorgeous. Stop making me look bad – all I got my husband for our 6th was a weekend without me. But I totally left him the kid.

    Happy Anniversary!!

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:05 am

      Well, you left him the kid. I mean, what more could a husband ask for than that? Gold star for you, I say!

  24. September 30, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    I’m not going to read this now because I’m at work and it will totally make me cry but that last shot of Scott is killing me. a;kasg;lkjagkl

  25. September 30, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    I admit it… my eyes welled up.

    My husband and I said those very words to each other under our chuppah and to be honest, I never thought about them very much. But after nearly 13 years of marriage, those words are the only ones that can sum up our life together.

    Thank you for reminding me that HE is the one who took the screaming baby from my arms at night to let me get sleep. And HE was the one who held me when I cried because of postpardum depression. And HE was the one who looked me in the eye just the other day and say, “God, you’re beautiful.”

    I needed that reminder.

    Happy Anniversary.

  26. Nev
    September 30, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Man, I welled up. Gorgeous. Happy Anniversary. :)

  27. September 30, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Damn you and your amazing sideshow. You owe me 3 tissues!

  28. October 1, 2010 at 7:51 am

    Beautiful post. Happy Anniversary!!

  29. celi
    October 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    Hi Morgan, i have been reading the blogoverse for years now and all my reading has shown that it’s a very difficult thing to write about love. But your post…your post is THE post on love and marriage as it should be. too many times, i have wondered whether my belief in absolute, intense love-that’s-for-life is true anymore or as experience has taught me, is it all transient?
    your post not only makes me hope and try to write in a manner that touches my heart but also search harder for my ‘one’ – because your story gives me hope.
    you have a beautiful family and one you’ve worked so hard to have. Hope you have a lovely, happy and healthy lifetime with them.

    • Morgan
      October 5, 2010 at 7:06 am

      Thank you so much. :}

  30. mae
    October 5, 2010 at 10:39 am

    Love everything about this. But especially the hotness that is you.

  31. October 10, 2010 at 10:49 am

    I think you did an amazing job putting your feelings into words :) This post is beautiful :)

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