Slip Slidin’ Away

Yesterday, my housekeeper of 20 years got a full time job offer from another family, and told us she would be leaving. I’m so happy for her that she’ll have benefits and a daily gig.  But then I put the phone down and sat down on the floor and cried.

Dora started coming to my parents house a couple of times a week when I was a child, and when I had a child of my own, she started coming to my house (thanks to my Sis and Brother in Law) once a week to help keep things under control around here. And when I really started struggling with postpartum depression, Dora started to help me care for Delilah.  For my Thirtieth Birthday, she voluntarily catered with homemade tamales.

On Monday, as you may know, Sara will move to New York. So will Dashiell and Finn, who I watched enter the world, and Sean. I can’t bear to think about it. When Delilah asks to see Dash, my heart literally aches because I know that next week she’ll ask and I won’t be able to explain to her that she can’t play with them for a while. I become consumed with the thought that I can somehow stop it from happening, but I know that I can’t. Part of me is leaving for New York next week and I can’t do anything but wish it weren’t true.

And the divorce of close friends has me floundering to find a way to support these people I love and care about so deeply while secretly mourning the loss of the way things were. I know it’s selfish but it’s true. Growing up is hard. Pain that’s real is so different from the imaginary pain of the months and months of my postpartum abyss. I don’t want any of these things to be happening, but they are.

So I’m sad, friends and lurkers. I feel really sad.  But I think that’s okay.  Even though I wish it weren’t true.  And yet it’s kind of fascinating to feel this way again. To live in the real world and give a fuck.

* * *

One more thing…actually two more things. A word about giveaways if you will. Scott absorbed another pet care business into his own recently (which is AWESOME and I am SUPER PROUD of him) but as a result we’ve tightened our purse strings a bit around here until we settle into it, and I got kind of freaked out and took on a LOT of sponsored content. And then deadlines changed and all of a sudden, here I am with a week of sponsored content in my cue, and I don’t want you guys to think I’ve gone and given up on you, or sold my soul or anything like that, it’s just that a bunch of products/causes I actually like/care about asked me to do reviews and/or giveaways once upon and time, and I said yes, and suddenly all of those things are supposed to go live, like, RIGHT NOW.  So I’m sorry if things feel a little “brand-y” around here for the next few days.   But it’s all good stuff, I promise.

Also, I want you guys to know that I work really hard to make sure review posts (which are always disclosed) are still stories I want to tell you and stuff I generally would share anyway.  That’s it.  I just want you to know.

Feed Me Seymour

  3 comments for “Slip Slidin’ Away

  1. adayinmollywood
    September 23, 2011 at 10:35 am

    I hate change. It is so hard for me. Especially when it usually tailspins me into a new depression.

    It is also hard to be happy and joyful for someone when you’re hurting yourself. But I think in time you will come to terms with their changes and yours as well.

    I always say that feeling sad is a good thing. It lets you know that you’re alive.

    • September 23, 2011 at 11:47 am

      @adayinmollywood I agree with that so much Molly. You can’t appreciate joy with out pain, right?

  2. HisMrsHerMr
    September 27, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Sorry to about your friend moving. I can only imagine how difficult it might be. Perhaps now is the time to join a travel rewards program if you haven’t already? Be good to yourself. It’s understandable that you are sad. Reading your post makes me sad for you. As for your housekeeper it is great that she was able to be there for you as long as she was and what’s even greater is the fact that you are happy for her and I’m sure she will remain a special part of your lives. Take care and I am with you the fact that you are feeling (although sad) is a good thing. A great thing! I used great a lot in this post. I know. I am trying to find another word for amazing because I love that word and tend to overuse it but hey since I’m here. All of what I said is better than great – it’s AMAZING and Sara is blessed to have a friend that loves her as much as you do (its obvious) but I’m sure she already knows that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *