Well, Shit.

Yesterday, a squirrel ran out into the street and under Scott’s car.  Except it wasn’t a squirrel.  It weighs about a pound, but we’re pretty sure it’s a dog of some kind.

It’s just…let me remind you that I currently share my home with a sixty lb puppy, so you’ll excuse my confusion when upon realizing that this little girl is growing in her adult canines we determined that she and Otis Redding were born in roughly the same twelve week span.


Wait, hold on…let me go back.

Yesterday, Scott came home for lunch and mentioned in passing “I found a dog this morning.” But seeing as some forty dogs a day run through Scott’s care in some form or another, I didn’t really think about it again until he walked in the front door holding the smallest dog I’d ever seen, prompting Delilah to bolt right for him screaming “ANOTHER ONE!!!  LOOK! DADDY BRING ME A PUPPY!”  I assume she exclaimed “Another one!” because at 28 months, even she knows that having two dogs under six months of age in the same tiny house as a ten year old crotchedy hound and a two and a half year old human is STRAIGHT UP CRAZY.

So crazy that we’re not under any circumstances doing it.

No we’re not. 

No we’re not.

What we are doing is giving Master (Mistress?) Splinter a warm place to sleep until her rightful owners see the signs we posted and come and get her.  Or until they don’t and we have to find her a new home probably with one of our loved ones because we’ll have grown attached by then now.  And in the mean time, I’m going to just keep correcting Delilah every time she says “My Puppy”.

{And also – Microchip your dog!  Getting them home can be so simple!}

(What?  Did you think I was going to get through this whole post without some kind of preach?  This is the Internet.)

Uh, also do you know How to Be a Dad?  So those guys asked me if I would be in one of their crazy Dad-videos they do so well, and I dunno —
I think I was drunk because I agreed.  Idiot.

So without further adieu, my internet digital short acting debut (and also Delilah’s.)

[And also Alex wrote this post about Twitter etiquette as part of her “If Emily Posted” series, which I really like.  You should read it.]

Feed Me Seymour

  11 comments for “Well, Shit.

  1. alexandrawrote
    March 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    @the818 I loved it! Haven’t met @HowToBeADad yet but think they’re fabulous.

  2. HowToBeADad
    March 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    @the818 And you also VERY good in it.

  3. zachrykenneth
    March 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    @the818 ah! What kind of dog?? If it doesn’t find an owner, maybe it can be a neighbor dog!!!

    • the818
      March 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm

      @zachrykenneth OMG YES!!!! A tiny tiny dog!

  4. alexandrawrote
    March 13, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @the818 Are the pups at least coexisting nicely?

    • the818
      March 13, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      @alexandrawrote Quite nicely actually. Stinky is keeping Otis Redding occupied for a change.

      • alexandrawrote
        March 13, 2012 at 10:52 pm

        @the818 Look for the Silver Lining….. (Also, at first I thought you wrote Stimpy)

        • the818
          March 14, 2012 at 12:42 am

          @alexandrawrote (Um, okay Stimpy would kind of be spot on.)

        • the818
          March 14, 2012 at 12:43 am

          @alexandrawrote (or wait…is that Ren?)

        • HowToBeADad
          March 14, 2012 at 12:44 am

          @the818 @alexandrawrote I know my son wants a dog but I can’t even imagine it.

  5. LinzLovesYou
    March 15, 2012 at 7:39 am

    I was juuuust thinking about adopting. Bad bad idea.

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