Hip to Big Kid Stuff

A couple of months ago, Dee and I were at Super Target (where I now do so much of my grocery shopping because HOLY HELL is it well priced there) and passed by the newborn section.  She spotted a bear rattle and {like she says about pretty much everything cuddly she lays eyes on} she announced: “Mommy, I want that bear.”

“Aw, you know what?” I told her – “those are for newborn babies.  They have to stay here and wait for the babies to be born so they can cuddle them.”  It was clear I was speaking her language.  She raised her little chin, nodding and said “Oh, yeah…for BABIES.”

A few weeks later we were in another store, when Dee spotted some gardening tools that struck her fancy.  “Mommy, I want that.”  “Oh, no Dee” I began — “those stay here.”  She looked at me very seriously: “Are those for babies?”

Sure, I thought.  We’ll go with that. 

And so it was that this idea that some things were for babies, and she was too big to need those things and therefore should be a big girl and leave them for the babies to have was born.

Cut to the mall play area not too long ago.

A little girl, about Dee’s age is looking at the fish tank with a pacifier in her mouth.  Dee approaches.

“Mommy?” she asks in the least discrete whisper ever, scandalized…pointing a chubby finger directly in the little girl’s face… “IS THAT A BABY?”

I am naturally horrified.  “No, Dee – we don’t point.  She’s not a baby, she’s a little girl like you.”

The little girl just looks at Dee, blinking.

Dee’s not done though.  “But she has a binky in her mouth.  Binkies are for babies.”

The little girl promptly threw the offending binky on the floor as her Mom did a silent fist pump behind her.  Still…I felt like I had to take my kid down a notch…she had, after all, taunted this poor girl into flinging her pacifier into oblivion.

“So?” I replied.  “You suck your thumb.”

Feed Me Seymour

  5 comments for “Hip to Big Kid Stuff

  1. Laura Stecklein de Molina
    May 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    THIS is too funny……………!! If only Delilah could have taunted my kid to give up the paci too!!

  2. Melaina25
    May 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    We are just hitting the “I’m a big boy” stage around here and I feel that parents here wouldn’t be so kind in the same situation! Luckily Blondie Boy calls them “pipkas” and I’m fairly sure I won’t run into any Yiddish speakers ::phew::

  3. babyrabies
    May 30, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    The cutest! Kids can get away with talking like that… because of the cute. 

  4. May 30, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Hysterical!! I bet that mom loves you ;)

  5. wa_tracy
    May 31, 2012 at 8:38 am

    BWAHAHA!!! Abby who wasn’t much into binkies, tried to do pretend binkies since some of the kids in her old 2’s Toddler class had them. So we had the talk about babies needing binkies…so now she pretends she’s a baby and asked to be rocked like a baby and has a pretend binky.  But also, sort of related, Abby has a new bike helmet for her tricycle. We talked to her about safety. So now, when we are outside and she sees a kid on his bike, she screams, “Mommy, he doesn’t have a helmet!!!!” when a kid is w/o one. Toddlers speak their minds, don’t they ;)

Talk to me. Please. I'm almost always alone or with a toddler.