Scott and I have been together for thirteen years. Married for five. And…y’know, when and a man and a woman share that kind of intimacy for that length of time…shit can get weird.
Here’s one of those instances: Every day…or at least often, my husband requests that I do something that he thinks is part of our marital contract. We sneak off in to the kitchen, turn all the lights on…and then I pluck his back hair and pop his bacne.
Usually, when I do this, I like to remind him that such an act is NOT part of “the maritals” but is in fact a testament to how much I love him, because it’s fucking gross and I do it anyway. And usually, he responds by telling me “THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WIVES DO.”
Exsqueeze me baking powder Husband dear? Wives do this?
So I asked my handsome hubby what the hell wives he’s been talking to because I talk to LOTS of wives, and I never hear ANYBODY talking about manscaping and/or minor dermatological procedures.
And yet, my husband still insists that YES, WIVES DO THIS, we just don’t talk about it. So I asked him if he wanted me to ask some wives. And bizarrely he did. So here we are. Readers and lurkers, if you are a wife, pray tell…DO YOU TWEEZE YOUR HUSBAND’S EFFING BACK FOR HIM, OR IS IT JUST ME?
//Update: I feel that I should add that Scott is not quite as hirsute as the man in the photograph, he has about twelve back hairs in total, so this isn’t an hours-long endeavor. Y’know, just in case you were now imagining my life in a scott’s-back-hair-prison.//