Like…omigod, there’s a Valley Girl in my tummy. I guess I’ll have to register for that silver spoon after all…the babe’s gonna hafta have something fancy to gag herself with. Moon Unit Zappa – Valley Girl Read more →
Year: 2009
Massacre in the Valley.
It is a sad day in the valley today, the end of an era, some may say. Both sides suffered great losses as men, both yellow and blue fell in their final stand against the DeWalt Driller, who sang quietly as he worked: “Oh Foosball…well you came, and you gave without takin’…” As the battlefield comes down, we’ll dream of… Read more →
“Working out” for lazy people.
I first bought my FITFLOPS while trying to get into shape for my wedding. At the time, no one had really tried them, and anyone I told what I’d done laughed in my face and called me lazy, which I am. However, I gotta confess…they work. Even Scott had to admit that my butt had lifted, and my legs were… Read more →
You can’t do that on television.
I’m no dancer (I mean, I did win a t-shirt in the Ellen Show dance contest for pregnant chicks, but still…) – so I’ve got to respect anyone who gets up onstage to audition for So You Think You Can Dance. Apparently, so does choreographer Sonya Tayeh. (How do you like THAT Girl-Hawk?) Sonya debuted last season as a guest… Read more →
After a season of sucking, Kara grows a sense of humor.
We all know I loathe that holier-than-thou egomaniac Kara Dioguardi. But when she got up to upstage the only American Idol personality I find less appealing than herself (actually one of two, Tatiana Del Toro being the other) I found myself brimming with newfound respect for the newest and most obnoxious judge. Bikini girl [aka Katrina Darrell,] whom they somehow… Read more →
Thar She Grows.
20 weeks. How pregnant I look is still varying from day to day, based on how much Chili I can stuff in there, or how recently I visited the ladies room. Scott disagrees, but I can’t help but think the bump has been reduced back to lump this week. Thanks to my awesome friend Heather @ Childish Clothing, I now… Read more →
Well, Scott’s screwed.
It’s a girl! It was so incredible to see her on the ultrasound – I still can’t believe this beauty is in my belly. I fell so madly in love the second her little face came up on the [huge] ultrasound screen, I almost forgot about the firepoker that seems to have lodged itself in the center of my ribcage… Read more →
Nope, it’s not a dildo…
It’s a portable ultrasound machine for your [windows based] cell phone. (Although in my bachelorette party-planning days I did stumble across a dildo that hooks up to the iPod playlist of your choice.) Unfortch, I have an iPhone, so I won’t be able to see my wee one while I wait at the car wash, or when someone’s running late… Read more →
Oh, Nanna Ditzel.
Nanna Ditzel, Danish design’s leading lady, gives me something else to drool over, with her stunning (and now, quite expensive and hard to find) high chair, circa 1955. I’ve always day dreamed about a few of her wicker egg chairs hanging on the back patio, and (thanks to the always enlightening Alex) I can now add this children’s piece to… Read more →
The Debilitating Fear of Mom Jeans
In a few weeks, I’ll be 28. Which really seems SO OLD to me. I know anyone over 30 reading this is laughing right now, and probably finds themselves gripped by an overwhelming urge to pat me on the head (or punch me in the face, depending on your sense of humor) but despite the fact that I know I’ve… Read more →