If you’re new here and you’ve been enjoying yourself, I’m sorry to inform you that I’m one of those freaky people who does cleanses. But I promise I never burn patchouli and I do my best to shower regularly. (You’ll have to remind me sometime to tell you about this one horrific colonic I had. And until then your imagination is welcome.)
I tried to start cleansing when a coworker of mine did the master cleanse for an entire 40 day film shoot (that’s the one where you drink lemonade and maple syrup for every meal) but I only made it twelve hours without getting seriously sick to my stomach.
I actually started cleansing when my doctor advised it because, to spare you the details, I have slow digestion and once and a while the system can use a reboot. And I found the results pretty awesome — a more precision you, at least until you start putting all the crap back in via living. So now I do it every few months or so.
This time, I tried the Can-Can Cleanse, a juicery with roots in LA and San Francisco that offers soup with their fresh juice to keep you from going totally insane. I knew I needed a liquid-only cleanse this time. Because this time would be the jumping off point for kicking a lot of bad stuff out of my diet for good. Namely wheat, but also any and all things artificial because I just feel gross all the time. And since I only feel good when I eat clean, my solution is to eat clean all the time. I know…revelatory.
And since Scott also feels gross all the time and plans to kick all those things too, he decided (just a little too late to Can-Can) that he wanted to spend his weekend drinking juice just like me.
SO. MUCH. VEGETABLES.
Quick Price Comparison for you: a prepared cleanse like Can-Can runs around $215 for 3 days, while Scott’s 3 days worth of juicing supplies cost $63 all in (not including the Juicer, which we already had collecting dust in a cabinet thanks to a raffle at Martha Stewart’s offices back in 2010). I’ll concede, the $215 Can-Can Juice was way tastier and more varied than the recipes we used for Scott’s $63 (plus scleanse, and obviously more convenient. Although Scott did make a pretty awesome beet potato soup/juice.
Anyway, I stuck with the Can-Can juice and day one was surprisingly easy, I didn’t have many cravings and no withdrawal headaches, which come pretty standard with most cleanses. And I felt fine. Not hungry. Not full of liquid. Just satiated and fine.
When I woke up on day two (after a freakish 12 hour sleep, courtesy of Dee being at my parents, hallelujah) I wasn’t out of bed two minutes before Scott commented on my energy and attitude being seriously improved compared to my usual morning self. So there’s that.
The hardest part of a juice cleanse is really just that you miss food. It’s almost as much of an exercise for your head as it is for your digestive tract, and I always come out feeling like I’ve gained some mental clarity, even if it’s just a little confidence in my own will power.
This time, by the end of day three I was feeling legitimately excellent and was just starting to miss chewing, so I had an apple, which is kind of allowed. Three days later, still wheat and dairy free I think this has been one of my best cleanse experiences so far. I didn’t lose any real weight of note but two different people have called me “svelte” since Monday, which I attribute to being less puffy in the face.
And now I can’t stop juicing. It’s practically contagious.
A massive thanks to Can-Can for providing me with free juice and moral support so I could take their cleanse for a spin. And even bigger thanks to them for offering you guys $20 their cleanse between now and January 15th. Use the code GIFT4THE818 (all caps) at checkout to redeem.