Riiiiiight where The 818 and Hollywood converge, sits the Millard Kaufman Residence — a dreamy house built in 1949 and later expanded by Richard Neutra. It’s listed at 2.5 million dollars, which I don’t have, but if I did, you could bet your ass I would be moving in like, this weekend.
Which like, fuck you forever LA real estate market, because in 2002 this house sold for $700k, and in 1997 it went for $470k. Does that not blow your mind so hard? Why wasn’t I an adult in 1997?
I would have ordered so much awesome take-out in this kitchen. I actually might cook if I had this kitchen.
I would write so much awesome stuff in this office. Probably much better stuff, because that ceiling.
I bet if I had this bathroom I would totally keep it organized. It would not be covered in my crap. 
It’s hard to tell from the listing, but I think this is my master bedroom. Luckily teak is my jam, so…
We could BBQ on my patio. Or take naps out there.
I would totally let you sleep in my guest room.
I know, I know what you’re thinking: “It’s nice but…where’s the pool?” Well, BOOM.
Plus lots of natural light so I would save on electricity. And do you see my bed on the other side of those windows? Check out my view.
It is a real fucking bummer that I’m not a millionaire. If you are, and you’re my friend, you should do the right thing and buy this house so I can hump its leg without getting arrested.