Sharon Osbourne Buys Happiness

TMZ uploaded it so I don't have to.

No video yet…but here’s the TMZ post.

Wow.   So I don’t know if you guys watch Rock of Love, but Scott and I are freaks for it.    These bitches just don’t give a fuck, and the spectacle of it is really amazing to behold.    Anyway, tonight the Charm School reunion show aired, and while Scott and I only gave “School” a cursory (read: bedroom tivo) watch while it was on the air, we were lucky enough to catch the reunion show tonight – and we realized something phenomenal.   Money really can buy happiness.  …Or at very least, the momentary satisfaction of knocking someone down a peg when they really really really deserve it.

So – there’s this girl Megan Hauserman, she’s been on a few of these shows already and as far as I can tell she’s really hot, and really mean, and pretty much just talks about being really hot and really mean.   Anyway she sucks.   During tonight’s reunion, she wore a bikini and showed up drunk as hell, proceeding to act like a big fat see-you-next-tuesday (shame on her, talking through that poor trainwreck Rodeo’s plug for her weird line of waterproof jeans!) before taking a jab at Sharon for “only being famous for managing a brain dead rock star.”

Pardon my being two weeks late to the story – I missed it hitting the tabloids a few weeks back when Hauserman was released from the Hospital and promptly pressed charges.   But I saw it tonight, and it was awesome.

Ms. O handled herself in the most amazing way.   She slowly considered, then carefully stood up (cased the set for the nearest security guard,) and finally decided that she didn’t care how much time and money she had to spend tying this dumb girl up in court, it was gonna be worth it.

It turns out it’s true what Cyndi Lauper said, folks.   Money really does change everything.   Sharon’s got so much of it, she didn’t have to take Megan’s self-entitled bullshit, and instead she pinned the bitch to the floor and tore her effing weave out.   I know it may not be the most “goodwill towards men” post-theme for the new year, but come on!   That’s awesome!

[Meanwhile, Brandi M – the winner of Charm School who tearfully tore up her “graduation speech” so she could “speak from the heart” on the finale – moved us all during tonight’s reunion special by announcing that she’d be spending that hard won 100k on a set of classy new boobs.]

OMG – I gotta go…the guy who played Brooke Sheild’s love interest in Blue Lagoon is describing his brush with teen-idoldom as being “on top of the world…”   *Sigh*   I love VH1.   In celebration of the revelation that money really can buy happiness and thus, there really is a good reason to keep working every day, I leave you with Cyndi Lauper’s classic…

Feed Me Seymour