Dark Days

The problem with June Gloom dragging on as long as it has is that I am a person who really needs sunshine all the time.   Ultimately, it’s why I put up with the craziness of LA life rather than disappearing to the MPLS or the Colorado Mountains or Provo Utah or somewhere completely inexplicably random (not that I’ve thought about that.)

I need guaranteed sunshine.  I like sunshine.  I want to BE sunshine.

It’s really easy for me to spend a day feeling sorry for myself. When things get gloomy, the fibromyalgia starts to creep and the dark parts of my mind start to creep and all of a sudden I’m on the verge of tears because my armpits ache so bad I can’t think straight and some eBay seller was a little rough in his response to my question about seatbelts. 

And when I feel that way ~ well I just don’t want to spread that around.   I don’t know what to say to you guys when I’m feeling blue, or when tragedy and heartache rear their ugly heads, but…fuck, I think we all know by now the world isn’t always a sunny place.

The three women I lived with in college…they’re part of my family. Forever. For four years all we had was each other in the big bad city, and each one of them has seriously made my life better just by knowing them.

Something terrible happened this week.  One of those things that spins your whole world around.  My dear Katie, one of my favorite people on earth, had to muster the strength to share this news with everyone she knew ~

I remember Jamie as a kind of goofy big guy who might have been one of the only people I’ve ever met who could go head to head with Katie’s INCREDIBLE sense of humor. I haven’t seen him in nearly a decade – it was Thanksgiving 2002 when Katie’s family graciously invited me to join them for my last holiday on the east coast that he last made me laugh out loud as Katie and he did their best to out-shock their Mom, who was clearly well trained at keeping a (mostly) straight face through her kids antics. Antics that I FOR SURE couldn’t keep a straight face through. And I won’t even get started on the addition of bow-tied Uncle Bob to the party. It was an impressive display (they eventually got her to crack somewhere around the dessert course).

I can’t believe he’s gone. It sucks and is unfair and there’s really nothing else to say about it.

Except that I hope no one passes out from drinking at the wake because Katie is probably going to take their picture and post it on her blog. She’s kind of hardcore like that.