Wild Thing, Keep Your Hooker-y Paws off My Baseball Team.

You know it’s not far off from what Dodger Stadium might look like if the MASHEEN went and bought himself the beloved LA Doyers.  

{That is a fake link – Charlie Sheen is NOT encapsulating his blood in pill form for mass distribution – I mocked that little ditty up for April fools on Twitter, but see? I told you Bo.lt was cool.}

Yes it’s true.  The Tour De Force that gave Emilio Estevez wedgies growing up and insists his children will think his habit for ladies of the night is “cool”  is circling Lalaland’s Boys of Summer like a John in Ho infested waters.  So I couldn’t help myself.  Because the notion is so crazy, slash awesome, slash crazy, I just have to keep talking about it.

A few weeks ago, Father’s day to be exact, the Dodgers invited Scott (a superfan), Dee, our parents and me to celebrate Dodger-Style. After enjoying a game in which we FUCKING SLAUGHTERED Houston, I also had a chance to hang out with Abby Blake and Maggie Ethier (for those who do not know the Dodger roster by heart, those are the wives of Casey Blake and Andre Ethier respectively, some of our most kick ass players – I think it was actually Ethier who made the grand slam that took that game for us while I distracted Maggie with annoying questions about celebrating father’s day when your husband is an indentured servant to fans across the country.  Maggie laughed and told me that “every day is game day – so it’s just another day until they get off work.”  Abby, who has FIVE kids with her handsome Third Baseman spends most of her time in Iowa (Idaho?  I’m so sorry Abby – I take terrible notes) with their brood until Summer hits and she gets to come out to LA and watch her hubby BRING IT HOME FOR LOS ANGELES.

But the point is this.  These are NICE PEOPLE, SHEEN.  These are family folks, and damn good ball players.  And unless you’re willing to shave lightning bolts into your hair and enter to Wild Thing on a game-ly basis, I don’t want you corrupting my beloved Dodger baseball.

…And don’t even get me started on the people who are talking about sending those boys back to Brooklyn.  Aside from the fact that we all know NY is overflowing with baseball teams, just like my family the Dodgers are Brooklyn to LA transplants who are here to stay.   You hear me Sheen?  DO NOT MOVE MY BOYS!  AND for the love of farmer john franks, keep your crazy off the Dodgers, will ya?

Feed Me Seymour

7 Responses to Wild Thing, Keep Your Hooker-y Paws off My Baseball Team.

  1. Charlie Sheen will be approved as an MLB owner right after Snooki’s term as Secretary of State. A lot of people think Mark Cuban might not be approved by MLB and he’s a billionaire with a winning track record in another sport.

  2. Bambi says:

    I loved this post! F-ing hilarious! Does he really want to buy the Dodgers? Scary! Although I did love myself some Vaughn back in the day. ;)

  3. Confused. Is charlie sheen trying to buy the Dodgers?

    • Morgan says:

      Well, he’s mouthing off about it to News Outlets and apparently trying to arrange a group of investors, so yes-ish?

  4. Melaina25 says:

    Isn’t Sheen a Reds fan anyways?

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