Some Things Just Shouldn’t Be Photographed And Posted On The Internet. (Even I have standards.)

[First of all I have to say that today is Dee’s first full day of school/camp without me having to be there, and THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME.  I feel weird.  I feel liberated.  I feel psyched.  I don’t feel sad.  Is that wrong?  It’s hard to feel sad when kiddo is so excited to go, and we reunite reinvigorated, right?]

Yesterday Dee and I were sitting in the backyard, and y’know…what with potty training and all (she’s totally got it now) it’s not uncommon for the girl to be trotting around commando.  Judge all you want, but if you’ve ever had to potty train a human then you know that pants can mean the difference between triumph and another pee stain on the rug.

Anyway, so we’re sitting in the backyard, and she is getting up from her monkey-shaped lawn chair where she was organizing “monies” (pennies) that she had tossed around the yard for herself to find {oh yes, these are the kinds of games we play} when I notice her brushing off her bottom with unusual fervor.

“Did you get a leaf on your booty?” I ask.  She nods that yes, she did, and I remind her that that is why we need to put undies on if we’re going to play outside.  “I’ll get you some” I assure her, and off I go.

“Mommy there’s monies in there…” she tells me, but I’m already on my way back with her Dora underoos.  “C’mon — put these on….” I motion to her, a little impatient.

“But MOMMY – I NEED YOU TO GET THIS MONIES OUT” she protests again, only this time she lifts up her dress to reveal…a penny lodged perfectly between her butt cheeks, like some sort of kitschy gumball machine.

I don’t think I’ll forget that image for the rest of my life.  It was a good ten minutes before we stopped laughing.

Feed Me Seymour