I’m not a Latin expert, but if Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number thirteen, than I’m going to go ahead and executivize that triple-dekaphobia is probably the fear of the number Thirty.  And let’s be honest, I think that is a much greater fear for a lot of people.

But not for me, suckers.  I turned 30 LAST year, so when the clock strikes midnight tonight and it becomes my 31st birthday?  Whatevs.

Today is my sister in law’s birthday. (Happy Birthday Maeg!) She’s five years older than me almost to the day, and I so clearly remember her 30th birthday {not to mention, her 25th…weird} when I was a day away from 25 and already terrified of my own impending 30th.  I remember trying to calm myself down by reminding myself how rad Maegan was at 30.

The sad thing is, it didn’t work.  I spent the next several years dreading the number 30, a fear that would become so crippling that I’d spend most of the final years of my twenties wallowing in it (okay, my brain chemistry might have also been a little wonky, but “AND I’M GONNA BE THIRTY!” is a nice finish line to any rant of self-loathing, internal or otherwise.)  And don’t even get me started on everyone sending you THIS LIST OF THINGS TO HAVE AND KNOW BY THIRTY which is I’m sure lovely unless you’re as self-critical as I am, in which case it just serves as a VIRAL REMINDER TO PANIC over whatever item on the list you haven’t checked off.  Holy fuck, am I glad I’m never turning 30 again.  Oh, wait.  That’s totally not my point here.

Today has been kind of a shitty day so far.  Sometimes, being a grown up is hard and sucks, and I don’t mean either of those words in the good way.

But that’s okay.  It’s okay that some days suck.  Because other days are just…awesome.  And life is really unpredictable, as it turns out.  And I’m eating a chipwich.

So tomorrow when I turn 31, I’ll look back and laugh.  30.  PSSH.  WHATEVER.

And today, I’m grateful that I have Maegan as a reminder for how much I have to look forward to in these here dirty thirties.  Because, honestly…the woman is jamming.

[Yeah, I totally magnetized and chalk-boarded my front door with paint and I love it.]

Feed Me Seymour