E is for Effort.

It was no easy task to look that self-satisfied.

A week from now, I’ll be in New York. Surrounded by people. Real LIVE! ADULT! people. {I capitalized live adult to show my excitement but now it just looks dirty. I swear, no one will be naked. At least, no one plans to be. I also never planned to pose for this picture.} {Uhhhh…NSFW?  I don’t think I’ve ever had to type that before.}

{Holy hell, what a sidetrack!}

Ahem. A week from now I’ll be in New York with real in-person grown ups and I will be doing it for the first time (well, for the first time on this scale) with no xanax. As our friend ming ming would say THIS IS SEWIOUS.

In between now and then?

I’ll find time in my tight-as-high-waisted-jordaches neverenoughtime daily grind to get a hair cut, a brow wax, a spray tan, and a mani pedi, if not also eyelash extensions. The last time I put this much effort in to going somewhere?  I had letterpressed invitations sent out eight weeks in advance.

Also I’m married and there won’t be any dudes there any way.  (Oops, some dudes. Sorry Charlie.)

So what the ef gives?  I’ll tell you.  The answer is multi-fold.

  • I really want to give eyelash extensions another go despite a semi-fail first attempt wherein I ended up with regular falsies glues to my face rather than individual falsies like the pretty ones Emma had, and you can bet your arse I’m not spending $60 on eyelashes so I can look really fancy in my pajamas at home for a week.
  • Meeting new people is fun/scary/exciting/doesn’t happen that often and I want to put my best foot forward.  And by foot, I mean face, because only weirdos are looking at your feet first. Also despite living in Los Angeles, I have really pale legs.
  • This is a business trip! And also I don’t get out much. See the thing about the foot/face.
  • Virtual-types take a lot of pictures and post them on the internet.  If you didn’t click on my NSFW link the first time, here’s another chance.

Why am I telling you this?  I don’t know. But when I wrote it all down on my calendar it seemed extreme enough that it was worth a blog post. Also clearly this is how I try to control my social anxiety. This year is easier than most in that department. If you’re seriously stressing out about more than just your eyelashes, I wrote a pretty soul-barey post about my first BlogHer Conference that you should give a gander.

Feed Me Seymour

  6 comments for “E is for Effort.

  1. TheNextMartha
    July 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    But what do we do about arm hair?

    • July 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      TheNextMartha Shit, I don’t think I have time for electrolysis.

  2. GDRPempress
    July 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    I think you are beautiful. 

  3. July 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I waxed my mutton chops off for this, which hurt like a bitch.  This better be a HOOT.

  4. TheFeministBreeder
    July 27, 2012 at 8:42 am

    If it makes you feel any better, I’m just as much of a mess. I have MAD social anxiety (and I’m weaning myself off the meds so this will be a HOT, HOT mess, I’m sure.) Despite the fact that I’m really good in FRONT of crowds, being on an elevator with strangers makes me want to jump out of my skin and run screaming naked down 7th Avenue. If you see a redhead hiding behind a toilet, that’s me! Come say hi! :)

Talk to me. Please. I'm almost always alone or with a toddler.