The Ultimate Accessory


First of all, how gorgeous is Emma?   I know, right?   A couple of weeks ago, Scott and I got our asses out of bed, and trudged over to the Marmalade Cafe, to meet Emma and Mike for brunch.   (This was back when I was still allowed to eat those delicious potatoes they serve.)   I arrived looking haggard and disgusting, but Emma, who was up just as early, and had even managed to be on time – unlike me – looked, in a word, FABULOUS.    After saying hello and spending a moment studying her face to see why she looked so-freaking-beautiful, it hit me.   “Your eyelashes!”  I exclaimed  “they’re amazing!”

(Now, as an aside, one of the things that I love about Emma, is that she’s confident enough to share her beauty secrets with you…and even let you post them on your blog…not like those horrible girls who want to keep all the good info to themselves so they always look better than you, and will even do your makeup shitty on purpose for the Homecoming Dance when you know full well that they know how to apply fake eyelashes without glueing your eyelids together and making you look like Frankenstein….but I digress.)

Anyway, it turns out Emma had gotten eyelash extensions.   Good ones.   They’re not over the top or obvious, and she can go out on a Sunday morning sans makeup, still looking like a celebrity stylist lives in her medicine cabinet.

I must have them.   First of all – I don’t know how to properly apply makeup.   I seem to have missed that day in lady class, and it’s been haunting me ever since.   I can do only one type of eye, and it always ends up smeared across my face by the end of the evening.   Even if I just apply mascara, I end up looking like a dead prom queen.   I used to tint my lashes to avoid having to wear mascara (the curse of the blond woman) but I’m also plagued with fairly thin, short lashes, so tinting them only gets me so far.    This is the answer.   This is how I will avoid looking like the creature from the black lagoon in all of the photos of my new baby and I post-birth.   FALSIES FOR ALL!   FALSIES FOREVER!   (Sure, they’re slightly pricier and require more upkeep than a tube of mascara or even a salon tint, but if I never have to stare in the mirror trying to dig the mascara-stains from the creases under my eyes, I’d gladly file that under worth it.)

And Ems, thanks for being such a good sport and letting me post all about your lashes.  (And Happy Almost Birthday!)

Feed Me Seymour