Soul: Crushed

{via the talented teddy smith}

Recently, I went for it and got the mom-cut I’ve been threatening to get since I squeezed this baby out nearly three years ago. Except I like to think of it as a chic Michelle Williams modified pixie, rather than then stodgy valley soccer mom look that was so popular during my 1980s youth. I was nervous and hadn’t really decided to go for it when I walked into Patrick Melville’s NY salon to take them up on their offer of some hair R&R after stumbling off the red eye from LAX, but I was tired, and only had this one photo on my phone, and Lori was enthusiastic and lucky for me she is a fantastic stylist and I couldn’t be happier with my new look.

Almost.  But then I saw that picture on Pinterest and got all itchy again.  My hair isn’t that color.  And sure, I’m intentionally bleaching out my own ends because I’m like a thirteen year old who’s parents are away for the summer when it comes to choosing a single shade for my hair, but most importantly my ROOTS aren’t that color and I really, really want them to be. But for once, Twitter wasn’t very encouraging.

To my horror…nearly every response was some variation on these two:

 

Ugh. It’s like my life is a full blown nightmare. WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?

I was born blonde. A curse, I know. And worse yet, I grew to be a dirty blonde and started coloring my hair at the ripe young age of 12 (11? 12? who can remember anymore…) so I really have very little clue of what color exactly grows out of my head. But despite years and years of hitting the bottle harder than any one girl should, I’m almost never happy with my color. Every time I see that rich natural red (or, in a different mood, a nice pale bombshell blond) I want to shave my freaking head and start all over.  Do you think Twitter is right?  Am I just destined to never look like a pre-crack Lindsay Lohan no matter how hard I try? And if so, then HOW COME ANGELA CAN PULL IT OFF?

{My ombre does looks cool in a braid though.}

Anyway, my life long quest for the perfect rouge, beginning way back when Angela Chase took the plunge on episode one of My So Called Life, I’ve come up with two favorite kitchen sink artificial reds are L’Oreal Couleur Experte in Ginger Twist (6.4) for a more natural shade (my friend Katherine, who has the most gorgeous absurd naturally red mermaid hair maybe ever even went so far as to give me the official real red-head seal of approval the last time I wore it, pictured left) and Yellow Hair 8.66 which makes me feel like Lorie Pecarovsky — the sexy partner of Moira Kelly’s skating-ex in The Cutting Edge. (pictured right.)

Got any suggestions for me? And totally unrelated, did you hear that The Price Is Right is looking for it’s first ever male spokesmodel?

Feed Me Seymour