I Was Born In A Big Town, I Grew Up In A Big Town

I was seventeen the first time I visited a town with a population of less than one million. I think that’s true. I’m racking my brain and besides maybe a couple of quick stops on far flung family vacations in foreign locales that felt too removed to be real, I was almost fully grown before I saw the America I’d only heard about in John Cougar Mellencamp songs, the small town.

I’ve often joked that I’m an urban townie. I’m married to my high school sweetheart living within walking distance of the campus we met on, and less than two miles from the house I was brought home from the hospital to. It just so happens that those four square miles are smack dab in the middle of the second largest city in the US.

It’s true, I lived in New York for four years, but I’d hardly call it broadening my horizons, because New York is an EVEN BIGGER city than the one I grew up in.

Some days I can’t believe my luck that I get to call myself a native to such a beautiful town. Sometimes it plagues me that there’s a better way of life out there. Or at least a very different one that we haven’t even given a real look.

After September 11th, I fled for the hills. Literally. Every chance I got I would escape NYC for a mountain cabin or a trip to a remote town somewhere. What once had felt like the backdrop to a horror film waiting to happen, suddenly felt like a smarter way to live. A few years ago when we took a big family vacation to Big Bear with a group of friends Scott and I were amazed at how much better we were able to relax and breathe up in the San Bernadino Mountains. And when my sister-in-law relocated full time to Arrowhead last fall we couldn’t believe how good mountain living looked on she and her husband. So we talk about it. More seriously than I ever expected, the idea of leaving here. There are days when getting out is the thought that gets me through.

And then there are days that I can’t fathom it at all. How could we ever leave L.A.? Our roots are here. Our families are here. Our friends are here. Our lives are here. Our work is here. I love it here. Would I cease to exist in a place where no one saw me?

I don’t know. But I know it’s worth thinking about. Questioning the status quo is never a bad decision.