Time is Cruel. Mary Kay is Kind.

[This post is sponsored by Mary Kay and BlogHer. Potty mouth, bad puns and opinions are mine.]

When I was a senior in college, my thesis was a short film called Whistlin’ Dixie. Inspired by the summer I spent working at a Home Shopping Network, it was a dark comedy that followed the murder of fictional Home Shopping Superstar Dixie Dawson (played by the fabulous Susan Anton, if you’re familiar.)

Anyway – well, clips are going to speak louder than words here, and if you pay attention, you’ll catch nearly 10-year-old cameos from Maegan of …lovemaegan and Jessica of Leyendecker Los Angeles.

But the point is, the craziest thing I could come up with for a [gracefully] aging Home Shopping Superstar to sell? At-Home, Do-It-Yourself Microdermabraision.

And you guys? Nine years, a recession, and a toddler later, I can barely express how psyched I was to open the beautiful black gift box with the pink bow that arrived on my doorstep and find some of that crazy business inside. Along with some other pretty sweet goodies.

Cut to today. I get an SOS from Yvonne at BlogHer that she needs my Mary Kay post, like, YESTERDAY. No, really – my deadline was yesterday.  Figure out how to get through your emails faster Morgan, JEEZ!!!

And then as I frantically search through my mass of unread emails for my marching orders, I realize…f************ck – I have to take freaking pictures for this post. And it’s 11pm. And I am still wearing yesterday’s pajamas.

Well thank Moses I’ve been using TimeWise for the past week – because I don’t bother with foundation on my now 30-year-old face (GASP!!! THE HORROR!) and I just slap that specially matched to my lily-white complexion and green eyes Mary Kay goodness on my punim.

Timewise is awesome. It’s like a mini spa day in your bathroom… the result is skin that looks IMMEDIATELY younger. The step 2 replenisher cools your face down after the micro- granules serious work out. I’m getting frantic about lines lately, so this was just what the inner-critic ordered.

(Me applying mascara at 11pm with a zit on my chin, nothing but a day’s worth of grime on my skin, and Mary Kay’s FANTASTICALLY thin mascara wand that goes on like BUTTER and doesn’t clump – awesome for a more easily understated lash look on a day of Momming…

Still taking lazy self-portraits in the bathroom, but now with pretty, face-brightening makeup on. Again…skin courtesy of TimeWise…not bad, huh dudes? Not to brag but…I’m pretty psyched.

And Mary Kay wants to make you feel all refreshed and color-matched too! (Who knew purple and uh….AWESOME SILVER EYESHADOW was right for green eyes? Not me!)

So…this fabulous sweeps runs from 10/24–11/18. Want to win? Read on for rules, and enter below.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry
methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment
on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on
this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the Official Rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older

Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.

You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be
selected.

The Official Rules are available here.