In addition to strangers staring at my body like I’m the first girl in Jr. High to develop breasts, and people putting their hands dangerously close to my lady bits when trying to feel the baby kick, I find that those who know me are increasingly interested in how my stomach tattoo is faring as my gut engorges.
I’ve written before about the lack of thought that went into the decision to have a design I made one Sunday morning in photoshop permanently inked across my abdomen. For those who are curious, here’s a quick photo update on the status of my largest and most regrettable tattoo.
(Left to Right: Pre-Pregnancy, beginning of 2nd Trimester, beginning of 3rd Trimester.)
Scott was surprised that I’d have the balls to post pictures of my mind-blowingly pale belly on the internet , but we’re still stretch mark free over here, and that’s something I’m happy to share with anyone who’ll listen (…or look.) In other bad-decisions-I-made-in-my-youth related news, I’m pleased to announce that the hole from my belly button piercing (which was done jailhouse style with a quarter and a safety pin during a slumber party in the 8th grade) has yet to turn itself inside out.
If I’ve learned something about myself during this gestational period, it’s that I am incredibly vain. Vain-er than I ever knew. It sounds odd coming from a girl who spends 90% of her time in pajamas with unwashed hair, but as pregnancy wreaks havoc on my body, I’m finding that it bothers me much more than I ever would have expected to watch things turn all mush and ripples. I know there’s a baby in there. I know I have to gain weight for the good of my unborn child. And yet, it still totally freakin’ blows. Feeling my thighs rub together doesn’t feel purposeful. It doesn’t feel like I’m getting all round and glowy. It just feels like I’m packing on the pounds like an ice road trucker on a fast food binge. (And it kind of chafes.)
Maybe it’s because it still feels like I JUST lost all that weight to fit into my wedding gown. Maybe it’s because I tasted the sweet nectar of being thin for a mere year and a half, and now that summer is here I just want to strut around in my bathing suit and look cute. Maybe it’s because my body dysmorphia has returned with a vengeance. Either way, I find myself studying the added girth to my arms and legs (and face, and ass…and wrists…and chins..) almost as often as I find myself studying my burgeoning belly. And to add insult to injury, I can’t stop eating. I’m freaking starving all the time. If you could overdose on greek yogurt and fruit I’d be in rehab by now. But I’m working out regularly and doing my best to keep a positive perspective on my inflating body (which I’m obviously failing miserably at) while praying to the weight-loss gods that either Breast-feeding is the miracle weight loss solution people claim it is, or at least that I can suffer through another painful no-fun diet, and get back into all the clothes I bought when I was sure I’d be svelte forever. ‘Cause damn, I will have wasted a lot of money if I can’t!
Here’s my weekly update.
How far along? 28 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Alright fine. In the spirit of not being a total jerk, I figure if I’m going to complain this much I gotta fess up. I’m up 40 freakin’ lbs with a trimester still to go. ::punches self in face::
Stretch marks? Nope. I’ve still got that going for me.
Sleep: Yes please.
Best moment this week: I have an appointment on Thursday – hopefully we’ll get to take a peek on the ultrasound.
Movement: She’s repositioned back over my cervix. Thanks, kid.
Food cravings: Plums. Greek Yogurt with honey.
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Happily not.
Belly Button in or out? Still in.
What I miss: My hip bones.
What I am looking forward to: Swimming this afternoon. At least I’m weightless in the water.
Weekly Wisdom: No matter how many lbs you pack on, people will tell you “you look great” and “you’re all baby!” Those people are probably liars.
Milestones: Well, obviously today I’m throwing a pity party for one.
Also, today’s the last day to enter the Dalla Nonna Calendar Necklace giveaway. Scroll down for details.
Feed Me Seymour
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