Scott: Hey, Babe?
Me: Yeah, Babe?
Scott: Do you know where her tiny little hair brush is? I want to brush her tiny little hair.
Me: (Nothing, because I had a heart attack. Y’know, from the cuteness.)
Category Archives: Things Scott Says
Things Scott Says
On me going to get a pedicure later:
“Make sure you leave enough milk. If she starts screaming because she’s hungry I want to make sure there’s something I can do other than just send out hate hoping it gets to you.”
Things Scott Says #2
(critiquing a performance on American Idol)
“The first half was way better than the second half – once she started going all fast she just started to look fat. You know you made a bad song choice if singing it makes you look fat.”
Things Scott Says #1
Regarding being on top of a building as tall as Encore Las Vegas:
“I would vomit, shit myself, have a heart attack, die, wake up, think ‘woah I just had a crazy dream‘ then realize it wasn’t a dream, vomit, shit myself, have a heart attack, and die again. And then hit the floor.”
